


Hitting the ground running.

by bagpussjocken



Series: No going back. [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagpussjocken/pseuds/bagpussjocken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a vicious attack on one of their own the 5-0 team must help to put his life back together and solve the crime.<br/>(i suck at summaries! sorry)</p><p>S.N - This is my first fan fiction in the Hawaii 5-0 fandom, I have written many others but not sure i have tone or their voices right just yet - please feel free to leave comment if i am getting this wrong or right lol</p><p>Note:   italics shows thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hitting the ground running.

The asphalt on the road came rushing up to meet him, as he felt hands on his back pushing him from the moving vehicle, harsh laughing and a boot connecting with back of his head for a goodbye measure .  
Instinctively he curled himself in to a ball and tried to scream as pain invaded every cell of his body, he was thrown against a white fence and left sprawled in the early morning light to die quietly, naked and alone.  
The sun rose steadily heating his chilled skin, he could see the lightness of the day growing behind his closed eyelids, his breaths came in gurgling gasps and all but drowned out the sound of birds overhead, he heard a dog bark in the distance and a car door slam, his mind racing to try and stay alive, to stay focused and awake enough for someone to find him – in his mind he was chanting a mantra and he hoped he was found soon.  
 _"Come on Danny stay with it, Gracie needs her Danno, needs her daddy – oh my god everything hurts i can’t hold on much longer someone help me please...have to find Grace and Steve have to get them out of there.”_  
Danny’s mind was whirling, colours exploding behind his eyes, his skin felt tacky and dirty, his whole body on fire ...he wished he knew what the fuck was going on.  
He had no idea how long he laid there, his mind was drifting in and out of consciousness, he heard a noise ...a door opening close by...heavy feet hitting the path and the beep of a remote to unlock a car, someone was close ...someone might help.

  
Steve jumped in his truck and gunned the engine, pissed that Danny hadn’t called and let him know he was going to be late, now HE was going to be late for a meeting with the Governor and oh the joy of having to phone and tell him his lift had not shown, not brought his coffee either dammit.  
Reversing slowly Steve tried Danny’s cell again, frowning as it went straight to voice mail...just as he was about to leave a very nasty message to his partner he saw something out the corner of his eye, a lump of something was laying by his fence.  
Pausing and wondering if he should just go or check it out he saw it move, jumping from the truck he approached it slowly, his knees almost buckled as he heard a rasping coming from the bloodied mess.  
“Please help me...”  
Steve immediately dialed for an ambulance and crouched beside the prone figure...his heart slammed in his chest as he realised it was Danny!  
The blonde bombshell from Jersey had never been so still and so quiet in Steve’s presence before, reaching out to touch him tentatively Steve begged whatever gods might be listening to hurry the fuck up with that ambulance.  
“Danny! What the fuck happened to you? Stay still okay, I got a bus on the way...Jesus babe who did this?!” Steve rambled, his hand shaking as he felt Danny’s pulse, he could barely make out a place on his partners body that wasn’t covered in blooming angry bruises, his hair looked matted and filled with dirt, not the usual sunny blonde, but he knew it was Danny by his eyes, usually bright with mirth or anger they were dull with pain and confusion but they were still his Danny.

“Steve? Your okay? How? I don’t ..., oh my god no! Steve you have to find Grace they took Grace too they told me” Danny’s voice was a harsh guttural whisper and Steve looked at him in confusion, shaking his head.  
“Grace is fine, she called me not twenty minutes ago to tell me that she was going to ask if she could come over this weekend to surf with me, she thought if I knew I might be able to persuade you, she is safe Danny I promise”  
As Steve does his best to calm his friend he looks over his body slowly, Steve feels bile rising at the back of his throat as he realises Danny has systematically been beaten within an inch of his life, and it seems they used some kind of threat tactic over him by telling him they had Steve and Grace as well, he could only imagine the terror Danny must have gone through thinking his little girl was being tortured in the same manner.  
“Look after Grace for me Steve please” Danny’s voice was weak as he whispered to his partner, his body felt like it was shutting down and he knew he was going to die, the only one good thing was his daughter and Steve were safe, not screaming , not begging Danny for help.  
Steve shook his head mutely, He was not going to let Danny die on him, just as he thought those words the siren slashed the air, Steve stood and waved them over, kneeling back beside Danny he checked his pulse again, it was thready but there – the emt’s screeched to a halt and raced to Danny’s side.  
Kono and Chin followed them and stood back with Steve to let them work, Steve looked at them and frowned.  
“How did you...?”  
“Lil cus here has a friend in the dispatch and she recognised your address, she let Kono know something had gone down so here we are.Who the hell is that? And why are they laying on your front lawn Brah” the older detective asked.  
“It’s Danny”  
As soon as the words left his mouth he felt the violent urge to throw up, this was insane, he was meant to have seen Danny last night but he never showed, he figured he had just fallen asleep on his sofa with the TV on loud as usual and could not hear his phone when he had tried to call him multiple times.  
“DANNY?” Kono shouted and made a move to try and move one of the EMT’s so she could see her friend, Chin grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his side, both of them looking at the medic’s working furiously on one of their own.  
“Sir?” one of the EMT’s motioned for Steve, moving quickly, he tried to remain calm.  
“You know this man?”  
“Yes he is part of the 5-0 task force, His name is Detective Danny Williams, is he going to be okay?” Steve knew his voice was shaking but he was terrified at what the man was going to tell him.  
“He is holding on, did you administer CPR to the victim?”  
Steve shook his head “No I saw he was breathing, what the hell is going on?”  
“From what I can see sir he has been resuscitated and also he has something written on his chest”  
Steve knelt carefully beside Danny, the EMT’s had rolled him on to his back to work on him and there written in black pen were 2 words.  
“Back off?” Steve spoke softly, in his gut he knew this wasn’t a random beating but realising he had been the one meant to find Danny and that his partner had been used as a message to him made him so angry.  
The medics rushed Danny off at that moment to the ambulance; Steve turned and threw his keys in Chin’s direction.  
“I’m going with Danny; you follow in the truck – Kono? Get the gps on Danny’s car searching, he was used as a message and I am going to make damn sure I reply to those bastards loud and clear” as he jumped in the ambulance and rode in with sirens blaring as his friend dipped in and out of consciousness.


	2. Anywhere but here...and now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny is at the hospital and Steve finds out about the extent of his injuries he has sustained - angst and anger McGarrett style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who commented and left kudos on the first chapter, it has been a while since i wrote fanfic - way too long lol - but this plot got in my head and demanded to be written! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as i am enjoying writing it.
> 
> Note: I fully admit i have no working knowledge of police procedure or hospital protocol, so i made up my own rules - hope they are not too far fetched.

Danny was screaming, he could feel hands all over him, touching, poking, feeling, making him wince, making him scream. Why couldn’t just let him die...again.

He never wanted to be on this god forsaken rock anyway, baking sun, miles of golden sand, perfect azure oceans were not for him – he needed and craved movement, people, noise, work, seasons, Grace, family ...just someone to love him for him for a change.

He was only here for Grace and now for work but he knew he was going to have to rethink everything, he was going to, as soon as he could think without his mind screaming, his throat hurt, he had the most god awful taste coating his mouth, probably his own vomit from earlier that morning or from of the many occasions he had done so in the night.

Someone lifted his eyelid and shone a bright light at him, he tried to push them away, he had enough, just wanted to be left alone, he didn’t understand why he was there, he had been on his way to Steve’s and then everything went murky and he could hear someone screaming in agony and was shocked to realise it was him, a sharp scratch on his arm and suddenly he felt heavy, his body being dragged under to sleep.

“Steve? Don’t wanna wake up okay?” Danny's voice was barely a scratchy whisper but the Doctor heard him clearly enough.

“Get his family in here now”

 The doctor spoke sharply at the nurse who had administered the morphine and bit her lip in sympathy, sighing she went out to inform this poor man’s family of his condition.

 The Doctor took the samples for the police that he was required too, the nail clippings, blood swipes and DNA swabs all tagged and ready to be delivered to the crime lab, he winced as he realised the depth of depravity that had been committed on the victim. He had been a doctor for a long time but this case was making his skin crawl and he did not relish in the thought of having to explain some of his findings to the Detective in charge of this case.

 The nurse hurried in to the waiting room and was confronted by a very tall dark haired man, built like some kind of warrior and with an expression to match, his arms were crossed over his chest and his face was a mask of anger – he was flanked by two striking people. The woman was tense but ready to pounce and the older man gave the impression of calm but was in reality coiled like a spring ready to snap.

 “Hi I’m Kate I’m Mr Williams Nurse, the doctor asked me to come and find his family?” her voice was soft and as calm as she could make it.

“We’re his family, what is his condition?” the dark haired man demanded.

“Oh um how are you related to Mr Williams? I am sorry to ask but it is hospital policy to only give information to his immediate family” she explained, backing up as Steve took a step closer, the older man gripped his arm and told the nurse in a calm voice.

“Danny has no other family on the island except for his 10 year old daughter, we are his co-workers on the five 0 task force”

 “I’m Commander Steve McGarrett, head of Five 0 task force.” his voice was clipped and his eyes hardened when the nurse frowned for a moment and then nodded, indicating he should follow.

“Oh your Steve, okay please just follow me okay and I will let the doctor explain everything.”

 

Entering Danny’s room Steve tried not to look at the broken body in the bed, he could hear machines beeping and the dull hiss of an oxygen machine somewhere, the doctor was administering yet another IV to Danny’s arm, his left arm was in some kind of bandaging.

 

“Hey Doc how is he?” his voice sounded tinny even to his own ears, forcing himself to look at the doctor he waited as he set up the drip and turned to him.

 “I would say he was lucky to be alive but I know luck had nothing to do with this – he has multiple contusions and lacerations across his entire body, a heel shaped gash to the back of his head, 3 broken ribs, a broken arm and from what I can make out from the bruising on his chest and sternum he has been resuscitated at least three times – whoever did this did not want Mr. Williams to die, they wanted him found and in pain.”

 Steve looked down at Danny then and felt tears threaten; blinking them back he looked at the doctor.

“Has he said anything? Any clue as to who might have done this to him or why?”

“Between him screaming and cursing me out with some very colourful ideas as to where my head should be, all he has said is – Steve I don’t want to wake up – do you know who Steve is?”

“Me, I’m his partner, how long is he is going to be out for doc? We need to try and figure out who did this too him and right now we are fighting this blind.”

 The doctor nodded in understanding, and personally he thought he was glad he would not be the one who would be facing this man when they did find the attackers.

“I have put him in to a medicated coma for the time being, we have to reset his arm, and he is in considerable pain and will be for some time, this way he rests and heals – no longer than 24 hours though, after that he will be fully medicated obviously but he will be coherent enough to speak to him, I had the nurses take photographs of all his injuries and also the message that was across his chest. The swabs and rape kit are ready to go to the crime lab. I hope you find the people who did this”

 “Rape kit? What the fuck did they do to him?!” Steve demanded, his hands clenching as he stared the doctor down.

“I found traces of semen on his body, in the shape he is in I would very much doubt that it came from him, I could not find any evidence of full penetrative rape, but it got there somehow and I am thinking by the state he is in that it was hardly consensual don’t you? Hopefully they left something behind so you can find them”

 Steve shook the doctor’s hand and nodded grimly “Oh don’t worry I will find them you can count on that.”

 “I believe you will” the doctor told him, he knew in that moment that this man was more dangerous than anyone he had ever met, he was glad he was on the right side of the law.

 

With that the doctor’s beeper sounded and he gave an apologetic smile and bolted from the room.

Steve sat heavily on the chair next to Danny’s bed and tried to wrap his head around what had happened, he had called Rachel and the Governor to explain the condition he had found Danny in. Rachel had bitched about his job and the Governor was apoplectic over something like this happening to one of their Task force.

 Steve sat watching his friend, the only noise in the room coming from the machines keeping him alive. Danny didn’t move it was scary to see him so still, so quiet; he was usually the ball of blonde energy flapping his hands and pacing around as he spoke, but now he just lay there hooked to machines.

Steve thought back to the night before, he had expected Danny to arrive like he always did in the evenings - they had an unspoken agreement of dinner and /or beer, a few laughs/arguments over whatever crud they could find on the TV to pick apart - if it was sports Steve was always happy to annoy Danny with of his lack of knowledge of the game just so Danny could rant and pace, his hands flapping around as he showed how disgusted with Steve he was.

_“I should have known something was up, he didn’t answer his cell, didn’t come by to watch the game - we always watch the game together that’s why I tivo the damn thing! Why didn’t I go looking for him? Why didn’t I realise he needed help. While I was laying on the couch being pissed at him not showing he was being beaten and tortured and god knows what! I thought maybe he needed space, that this …whatever this is between us was cooling off for him or not what he wanted or I don’t know what - I just left him. He followed me to Korea! And I couldn’t even move my ass from the couch long enough to stop feeling sorry for myself”_

A soft tap on the door broke him from his thoughts, rubbing a hand over his face to chase any tears away before he looked up and saw Chin and Kono come in and stand side by side next to Danny’s bed.

“Oh my god Boss why would they do this to Danny?” Kono’s voice was thick with tears.

“I don’t know but we will, any luck on finding the Camero?”

Chin nodded “It was found parked in a side street about 5 miles from your house, looked like Danny had got out of his own free will, nothing to suggest he was jacked, his phone was still in there and his wallet and gun were in the glove box so this wasn’t a robbery gone bad, someone was out for Danny”

“I want every camera with 10 blocks checked, and go back and retrace Danny’s day yesterday, if he was followed then they have to show up somewhere”

“You too get on it, I am going to call Rachel and give her the heads up on his condition, I’ll call his parents too oh and no need for protective detail on his door by the way, I’m not leaving until we have a solid lead.”

 Chin and Kono stayed for a few minutes, then taking the collected evidence they made their way to leave, Steve motioned for Chin to wait.

“I’ll get the other evidence from the nurses station, look after my pal Bossman” leaning down she kissed Danny on the brow and left the room, wiping tears from her face.

 “I want the rape kit tested first, if they did anything to Danny and they are in the system …I want their names first okay? Fuck procedure I want face time with them first understand me?”

 Chin nodded, looking back at Danny as he moved towards the door.

 “I’ll get Kamekona to bring you some food over and I’ll call Rachel and the governor, I won’t tell them everything that is Danny’s decision. Anything else you need Boss?”

 “My laptop, change of clothes, and the nerve to call his parents” Steve looked at Chin as he shook his head sadly.

 “Clothes and laptop I can do - nerve? That’s your domain boss - how much you going to tell them?”

 “The same as you are telling, this is Danny’s private life we are talking about Chin, it’s going to be hard enough that their son was beaten for some unknown reason they do not need to know he may have been raped too - not when they are 5000 miles away and can’t get to him, god I never thought I would be doing this for Danny, kinda figured it would have been Danny informing Doris of some major fuck up I make which ends up with me being on the business end of a bullet”

 Standing he walks to the door, pulls his phone from his pocket, looking back at Danny lying so pale and still on the bed he takes a deep breath.

 “Stay with him while I do this okay?”

 Chin nods and watches as his friend leaves to make the call he knows every parent dreads.


	3. A phone call and memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has the unenviable task of informing Danny's parents of their son's fate, also a certain shrimp truck owner/helicopter pilot pays a visit.
> 
> (i still suck at writing the summary lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first time writing the voice of Kamekona - one of my favorite characters on Hawaii five 0 - i hope i did him justice.
> 
> Hawaiian words all taken from Google - if i have them or their meaning wrong please let me know so i can fix it.
> 
> aikane -brother/friend  
> haole - Outsider  
> ohana - Family  
> makua kane - Father
> 
>  
> 
> Note = thanks so so much for all the comments, kudos and bookmark! i am loving writing this fandom.

Steve makes his way to the entrance of the hospital before he calls Mr. and Mrs. Williams; he takes a deep breath and waits for the phones to connect.

 “Hello?” he hears a woman answer and silently curses that he has to tell Danny’s mother the news first hand, not that his father would have made much difference but he is not sure how he can cope with the tears that are sure to come.

 “Mrs. Williams‘? Hello ma’am this is Commander Steve McGarrett…” that was as far as Steve got when he heard a sharp intake of breath.

 “Is my boy alive Commander?” the voice barely a whisper.

 “Yes Ma’am he is, he's been badly injured and we are doing everything in our power to find out whoever hurt Danny.” Steve’s voice shook as he heard her start to cry.

 “Ma’am I am very sorry…”

 “I know I can hear it in your voice, what happened?” as she spoke Steve could hear another voice talking to her, a man, obviously Danny’s father but his questions were muffled.

 “He’s alive Jimmy, sit down before you fall down for god sake, Steven is explaining just give me a moment” Danny’s mum told her husband. 

 He was a little taken a back at the use of his full name but figured Danny must have told them enough of their scrapes to have told them about him - also that he called him Steven when he spoke to his mum about him spoke volumes as to how pissed and angry he must have been at those moments.

 Steve smiled, her accent so like Danny’s, her voice dripping with concern and force - his chest hurt when he thought of how much worse this conversation could have been.

 “Steven are you still there?”

“Yes Ma’am and please call me Steve, only Danny calls me Steven when he is annoyed with me”

 

He heard her chuckle softly and felt some of the tension sliding from his shoulders as he sat on a nearby bench, his head lowered as he clung to the phone like a lifeline.

 “Sounds like my boy, how bad is he hurt?”

 “He has been pretty badly beaten, broke a couple of ribs, his arm, concussion , cuts and bruises - he is going to be fine but he is going to take a while to heal Ma’am”

 “Call me Peggy, or Ma - being called Ma’am makes me feel older than dirt. Why would someone hurt Daniel like that? Was he caught up in some case or … I knew nothing good would come of him following that bitch Rachel so far away, we should have fought harder to keep Grace with us, with her family, damnit…sorry please talk to Jimmy I have to go...”

 “I understand” Steve felt lost, he hated telling family’s their children were hurt or worse, but this someone was Danny, and it hurt like hell knowing that he was putting his best friends parents through this.

 

“Steven? Jimmy Williams, When can we speak to Dan?” the older man’s voice was gruff and deep and Steve could hear the man fighting to keep his emotions in check.

 “Not until late tomorrow sir, he has been heavily medicated and needs to sleep and heal some before he wakes up” Steve knew he should have more forthcoming about the medical coma Danny was in but he felt he could not put his parents through that at the moment.

 “Okay, look me and Peggy would be there in a heartbeat but we have no funds for getting there plus with me being a fire chief and Peggy a teacher we can’t disappear overnight you understand? Tell Dan that for us okay? Look we have that Skype thingy set up on Peggy’s computer, is there any chance we can see and speak to Dan over that? Could the hospital have any way of setting that up for us?” the man rambled, seeming embarrassed and flustered at asking for assistance.

 “I can set that up for you sir and the moment you and your wife can get over here just let me know and Five 0 will arrange it with the Governor, Danny is one of his best men and I know he would be honoured to do that for you both”

  _If that tight bastard can’t dip in to his precious budgeting funds for this then I will buy the damn tickets myself_ \- Steve thought angrily, knowing the Governor would likely spit chips if he knew what he had just promised in his name.

 “Thank you, I will get Peggy to sort out the technical stuff with you, I hate damn computers - but they do keep us in touch with Danny and Grace so I can’t speak too bad of them”

 Steve laughed softly, Danny’s father sounded so like him it made his chest tighten - he felt a lump rise in his throat as he thought about how he may have never heard another of Danny’s fiery outburst over every little thing.

 

Pretty soon Peggy was back on the phone exchanging Skype information with Steve, tears clogged his throat as he told her goodbye and he nearly broke down as she told him.

 “Is Danny alone at the hospital? He hates being alone Steve, could you ask the nurses or someone over there to stay close to him?”

“I am going right back to his side right now Ma’am, I mean Peggy - I am not leaving him for a second, Chin is with him right now and I promise I will not leave him for a moment okay?”

 “Thank you, I so wish he had never gone there, I understand why, he needs his Grace like he needs air…but he is used to people all around him all the time and I know he spends a lot of time with his colleagues but I can tell he is so lonely sometimes, he tries to cover it up with his bluster and BS but a momma can tell when her boy is hurting”

 Steve nodded silently at the phone, he didn’t realise how lonely Danny had been, they had spent a lot of time together but at weekends when he didn’t have Grace and Steve was doing stuff with Catherine or the reserves or running off to Korea or sitting in prison what had Danny been doing then? Staring at the walls in his grimy apartment? Feeling lost and alone like Steve did at that very moment?

 “Steven?” her voice was low, questioning as she said his name.

 “I’m sorry I’m here, just thinking how lucky Danny is to have such caring parents, I better get back to him now, I will call if there is any change and I will set up that call as soon as I can.”

 Peggy thanked him, her voice sounding watery and said her goodbyes.

 

Snapping off his phone Steve closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, there was so much he knew about Danny and so much he didn’t, he wasn’t just the Ex Jersey detective who had barreled in to his life at the worst possible moment, he was so much more - and had proved that from the start.

 Steve smiled at the memory of their first meeting, guns drawn at each other, neither backing down, Danny’s baffled frown at Steve’s insistence of showing credentials at the same time.

 “ _At the same time? Like on the count of three?”_

_"Yeah three’s fine”_

He has no idea that their first encounter would lead them to where they were - the 5’5 blonde and brawn bombshell for New Jersey, all gruff and bluster, hating everything about his beloved Hawaii, from the pineapples to the ocean to the sun would become the best friend he had ever known. Someone so in sync with himself sometimes that they didn’t need words to convey what they were thinking, a quick glance was all that was needed.

  Steve couldn’t pin point when his feelings towards Danny had changed but they had in a big way, he wasn’t just noticing Danny as a friend anymore he was noticing every little thing, his walk, his laugh, his strange attachment to his hair, the way he was fiercely loyal, soft as butter when it came to kids and basically a good guy, he had a great ass on him too - rolling his eyes incredulously at his own thoughts Steve walked back to Danny’s room.

 

Chin looked up as Steve walked back in.

 “They okay?”

 Steve shrugged “They took it as well as I could expect I guess, I kinda promised that the Governor would pay for their trip out here, see what you can shove through with the paperwork, if you get nowhere let me know and I will cover it. Also I need my laptop here as soon as possible I have told Peggy, Danny’s mum that I will set up a Skype conversation with him as soon as he is able too”

 Chin just nodded and rose to leave telling Steve “I called Kamekona he is keeping his ear to the ground for us in case anyone is bragging about doing this to a cop, also he said he is bring the grinds in about an hour, I should be back by then with your stuff - take care of our aikane” and with that he was gone, Steve was alone with a sleeping Danny.

 

 Steve slumped back in his chair and checked his watch, he was amazed to see it was already late afternoon, the day had gone by in a blur - he felt tired and confused and so fucking angry he didn’t know how he managed to stay still, looking down in to Danny’s sleeping face he cringed as he saw how bruised and beaten he was, he had tried to keep from looking too hard, he had to do his job, make decisions, call Danny’s parents without having a melt down on them as he so wanted too - he wanted to cry for him but he couldn’t let himself, he had to be strong for Danny , had to be strong enough for them both to get through this.

 Reaching out slowly he gently caressed the back of Danny’s hand, it lay limp and lifeless on the sheet, normally so vibrant so full of energy that small thing had Steve choking back tears - leaning close to Danny’s ear he whispered.

“Come back to me Danno, I promise I will get the bastards that did this to you, you will get well and be better than ever, I … I love you Danno” Steve kissed his brow and settled back to watch his friend sleep through the worst of his pain.

 Steve lost track of time as he sat there holding Danny’s hand but it seems mere moments and Kamekona is barrelling in to his room, his arms laden with food and three nurses chasing after him.

 

“Brah tell these wild women I am here on a mercy mission! They loco and try and throw me out - they don’t believe when I tell them I am Danny’s ohana Brah”

 Steve almost laughed as Kamekona slid round behind him for protection, for a big man he was sure scared of those nurses.

 “It’s fine ladies, this fine gentleman is Danny’s trusted friend and the bringer of my dinner, I am sorry if he caused any problems out there”

 The nurses frowned at Kamekona - the oldest one laughed suddenly.

 “He didn’t really explain himself very well and besides we were not aware of his special Task force duties - just please let us know in future who will be coming and going from this room, as you can understand Mr. Williams needs to be kept quiet and get plenty of rest so he can heal”

 Steve and Kamekona nodded in agreement and both apologised, even if Kame did do it a little grudgingly.

 “I am sorry for the confusion, I know Detective's Kelly and Kalakaua will be in and out of the room while Danny is being treated here, his ex wife and daughter will be here at some point tomorrow and as for myself I am not going anywhere until Danny does.”

 

The nurses frown at him and begin to disagree - he held up his hands and flashed his badge at them.

 “He is in my protective custody until his attackers are caught, now I am not asking for any special treatment, I can sleep on the damn floor if I have to but I am not leaving Danno alone” Steve’s voice was hard and brittle and his stance showed them he was not going to budge on his decision.

 At that moment nurse Kate spoke, Steve had not even realised she was in the room.

 “Doctor Fletcher thought you would feel that way Commander, he arranged for you to have a cot moved in here this evening, now ladies I think these men would like to have some dinner and we need to get on with some work”

 Steve watched as they looked from Steve to Danny, smiling they nodded in agreement and left the room.

 

“Oh man those women were scary brah, chasing me around like I was gonna hurt someone - oh my oh man look what they did to Danny man, he gonna be okay right?” 

 "Its going to take a long time but he will be fine Kame, thanks for bringing me dinner, and the floor show" he smiled as he indicated to the angry nurses.

Kamekona sunk in to a chair beside the bed and proceeded to take pots and boxes from his overflowing bags, the air was thick with delicious smells but Steve had never felt less like eating.

 “I hope Chin and Kono get here soon, no way I am gonna eat all that”

 “Listen Chin told me a little about what happened, I got people listening out, my little cousin Flipper got his ear to the ground too, we hear anything we let you guys know, you get any pictures or information send it my way Brah, no one gonna hurt Danny and get away with it man I promise that! He's a haole but he ours”

 Steve nodded, Kamekona was brash, loud, a wild entrepreneur and had a heart as big as the island - he knew and trusted his ohana and was protective of them all.

 Steve watched as Kamekona leant over Danny’s bed, he couldn’t hear what he whispered to his friend but he knew it was heartfelt.

 “I told him to wake up or I was gonna teach Grace to count cards at black jack, that little girl needs her makua kane **”**

 

Steve smiled as Kamekona left the room, sinking back in to his chair he rubbed at his eyes and laid his head back for a moment, his hand reaching for Danny’s as he rested and tried to figure out who would want to send a beaten cop as a message.


	4. A waiting game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A waiting game at the hospital.
> 
> (i am so bad at writing these summary things lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi - i am so glad so many people are enjoying this story, sorry but this is still un Beat'd - i hope that doesn't detract from your enjoyment too much.
> 
> This chapter was very hard to write, as i had to let time pass but something still had to happen - Sleeping Danno is not so interesting to write, but after this things are going to change!
> 
> As always if there are any things you want me to fix just let me know and i will do my best to do so. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Steve didn’t realise he had drifted in to a light sleep when he felt a hand on his shoulder, immediately he was on his feet his hand reaching for his gun.

“Whoa Boss man, stand down” Kono told him, easing him back in his seat.

 “Sorry I’m kinda wired, didn’t realise how tired I was” looking down at Danny’s face he was surprised to see his hand still holding his - he pulled it away quickly, his eyes meeting Kono’s to see if she had noticed, she just smiled and pulled up a chair opposite.

 “I think our friend here needs to know we’re around don’t you?” she told him softly, her hand reaching for Danny’s her eyes on Steve until he took a deep breath and covered Danny’s other hand again.

 “I guess he does…uh how long you been here?” he asked, his thumb rubbing lazy circles on Danny’s skin.

 “A couple of minutes, Chin is just grabbing your stuff from the car and setting up an armed guard outside the room…I know what you said Boss but like my wise cousin said you need to sleep too and we don’t know if the guys that did this are going to come back and try to finish the job.”

 

Steve frowned, his mind telling him that Chin and Kono were right, but his heart shouting that he could protect his friend himself; he owed him that after abandoning him the previous night because he was in a snit.

 “You still with me Boss?”

 “Yeah, I’m just pissed off I didn’t go looking for Danny, he was meant to come over to watch the game I figured he had fallen asleep or …something - I spent the night laying on my couch being pissed off and angry at him for blowing me off, I should have been there Kono, I should have known better,” Steve’s voice had dipped to a gruff whisper, fighting to keep his emotions down.

 “He was on his way to you place when this happened, somehow they got him to stop, you could not have known that was going to happen, and Danny is a pretty feisty guy I doubt he went willingly - I been thinking of checking out surrounding hospitals to see if any other casualties came in today?”

 Steve frowned, mulling it over - and nodded, they needed every break they could get to find out what had happened.

 “Smart idea”

 “Danny has taught me well Brah” she told him smiling, standing she left the room to make some calls and see what she could dig up.

 

Soon after the Doctor came in to check on his patient, a little while after he came out and told them that Danny was going to have his arm set and they would be allowed back in the room in an hour - Steve argued that he needed to be in Danny’s room but the doctor took one look at the armed guard stationed outside.

 “I think Mr. Williams is in safe hands don’t you, come back in an hour, go out and get some air and you two make sure he eats, I noticed none of that take out was touched in there.”

 Chin and Kono nodded, after Steve spoke to the guard and gave him implicate instructions to not let anyone near the room he was very grudgingly dragged outside in to the cool night air - taking a deep breath he tipped his head back and closed his eyes, forcing his body to relax.

 “Anything back from the lab yet?”

“Not yet, Charlie told me he is going to pull in as many techs as he can, and they are going over Danny’s car too - they seem to think in their initial analysis that Danny may have been held at the docks but they are still working on it” Chin told him.

 “We have every camera in the vicinity being gone through, we picked up most of Danny’s movements from yesterday - just need to fine tune and see if we can see anyone following him, same goes for his journey last night - we will know more in the morning”

 Steve absorbed the information and nodded, he knew that Charlie and his team did good work he just wished he could have some kind of lead or clue to get them moving, waiting around was not in a SEAL’s nature.

 “Come on let’s get you some dinner and then we can get back to Danny” Kono told him, Chin nodded in agreement which is how an hour later a slightly more agreeable Steve made his way back to Danny’s room, stomach full and even more determined to catch Danny’s attackers than ever.

 

Steve cornered the Doc as soon as he got back, as he walked in to the room he noticed Danny had been cleaned up and his arm was now sporting a cast, his skin looked even paler now the grime had been cleaned away.

 “Any Change?”

 “He is doing well Commander, his vitals are strong and now his arm is set we can probably bring him out of the coma by tomorrow morning, he needs a lot of rest to mend - but once we know how he is coping on administered pain medication we can give you a better understanding of how long he has stay here. I would think no more than a week - but he is going to need constant care once he goes home” Doctor Fletcher explained.

“He will get the best care Doc, you can bet on that”

 

Once they were back and settled in Danny’s room it was all systems go to get Steve and his laptop set up, the nurses brought in a cot and set it up next to Danny’s bed, Steve took the opportunity of Chin and Kono being there to use the Shower in Danny’s bathroom to get cleaned up.

 Which is how by 8 o’clock Steve found him and Danny alone again, Chin and Kono had just left, Steve was stretched out on the cot and staring at the ceiling, his hand in Danny’s again - rubbing the pale skin and sending up silent prayers to ever deity he could think of to help his friend through the night.

 Steve slept fretfully, dreams coming thick and fast - pulling him from sleep time and again as the images of Danny being beaten kept building in his head, he could hear Danny crying and whimpering in his dreams over and over again, his heart beating fast as with every new nightmare his guilt became thicker and harder to swallow - Steve had run reports and idea’s through his laptop until he finally fell in to a deep exhausted sleep - only waking when the nurses woke him with coffee in the bright morning light and informing him that Danny should be waking up within the next hour or so.

 Steve pushed himself in to a sitting position “Already? Are you sure that is wise?”

 “Very sure, he is going to need a lot of support but from what I have witnessed he is going to get that isn’t he?”

 Steve nodded in agreement and wondered why he was suddenly terrified of Danny waking up - he was scared how different the beating may have made him, scared that Danny might blame him for what happenedAngry, pissed off Danny he could handle - he had been doing that since the moment he met him. Hurt and injured Danny? He had no idea.

 

Time seemed to pass slower than ever, nurses were in and out of Danny’s room - Doctor Fletcher arrived administering new medications and telling Steve he would have to wait to see how long it took Danny to wake up, once they were alone again Steve sat and held Danny’s hand, whispering encouragement, anything to get him to open his eyes.

 “Danny come on wake up Babe please, Need you back with us, Gracie wants to see her Daddy - I need my partner back. You have done enough sleeping.”

 Steve had no idea how much time had passed with him just sitting there whispering nonsense when he saw Danny’s eyes begin to flicker open, Steve’s breath caught painfully in his chest as Danny squirmed away from him in the bed, his eyes open but unseeing as he began to moan and whimper.

 

“No please no more I can’t …oh god someone help me” Danny’s voice was rough and quiet but it pulled at Steve’s heart to hear the fear.

 Quickly standing and pushing the nurse’s call bell, he stroked Danny’s hand gently.

 “Hey babe it’s me - It’s Steve - Your safe Danno, your gonna be okay” he could feel tears falling over his cheeks and he didn’t care.

 Danny’s eyes focused on him for a moment, struggling to focus, he gripped Steve’s hand a little tighter and his breathing became calmer.

 “Steve? I don’t understand…How? Oh god everything hurts” he whimpered, at that moment the door opened and nurses came spilling in, pushing Steve away from his partners bed, but Danny refused to let go - he kept his eyes on Steve the whole time - he was his anchor and the nurses gave up trying to move him.

 “Do what you have to do but I am not leaving him, you have access to every bit of him except this hand” Steve snapped out.

 “Never been so glad you’re a stubborn bastard McGarrett” Danny whispered, his eyes not leaving partners as the world spun dizzily around him.


	5. Promises made...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's awake ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you so much for the comments, suggestions and praise - i have not enjoyed writing a fic in a long time ! I think i have been away from writing for too long lol

Danny kept his eyes on Steve the whole time the nurses and doctor worked on him, he answered questions, swore crisply as he was moved even slightly but he couldn’t keep his eyes from Steve.

Steve refused to let go of his hand,finally the nurse’s worked around him, he could hear them muttering about him but he didn’t care, he couldn’t let him go – not again, not after he thought he had lost him once.

Danny could see the look in Steve’s eyes and knew no one was going to move him from his side, he had never felt so grateful for being able to read every ‘face’ his partner had.

He could barely believe that he was alive, let alone Steve – he had thought that Steve and Grace were in the same hell he had been in, memories were pushing to be let in but Danny wanted to fight them back for as long as he could.

“Mr Williams I need you to look at me for a moment okay? Commander McGarrett will be right here.” Doctor Fletcher spoke softly; smiling as Danny slid his eyes to his, so blue and impatient, his hand gripping Steve’s a little tighter. The light flashed over his pupils until the doctor was convinced his concussion was now in the mild stages – after what seemed like a life time they were alone in the room.

Steve sat next to his bed, his hand not leaving his, his face a mask of so many questions and mixed thoughts that it hurt Danny to even know where to begin. The silence stretched between them as Steve fought to find the right words to say.

“I’m sorry” Danny whispered – closing his eyes as tiredness swept through him.

“What do you have to be sorry about Danno?” Steve frowned in confusion, rubbing the skin on the inside of Danny’s wrist as he spoke.

“I made a rookie mistake Steve, my gut told me something was off but I stopped my car anyway...I'm so sorry Babe” his voice trailed away as he pitched in to a fitful sleep – leaving Steve more confused and guilty than ever.

Why did Danny feel he had to apologise for being attacked? He had been brutalised in ways that Steve really did not want to imagine and yet he felt guilty about making a mistake?

_Does he really think i am bothered about him making a mistake! I make enough, he points them out daily, hourly sometimes when he gets a good rant going - there is no way he would have walked in to something like this if he had known the outcome._

 Steve reluctantly let go of Danny’s hand and moved to the other side of the room, pulling out his phone he dialled Danny’s parent’s number and waited for someone to pick up.

“Peggy? It’s Steve...” before he could finish his sentence he heard her voice catch.

“Hey he’s okay, he just woke up, the Doc’s are pleased with his progress, his arm has been set and he seems to have slept off most of the concussion.” He told her in a rush.

“Oh thank the saints; has he talked to you at all? Any clearer on what happened? God I wish I could hold him right now...” her voice hitched and Steve could hear sobbing as she broke.

“He has spoken to me, not much as he is still pretty sleepy, he hasn’t told me what went down yet, but he is going to be okay – I will take care of him I promise” He vowed, silently begging her to stop crying, he could feel tears on his face again and scrubbed his hand over his eyes dashing them away.

“I know you will, I just miss him so much...and we probably won’t be able to get over there for a couple of weeks at least, tell him we love him and will speak to him very soon okay?”

Steve nodded mutely, his voice stuck in his throat.

“Steve – you’re not doing good are you sweetie, I think you could do with someone looking after you as well” Peggy told him softly.

He smiled in to the phone “I’m fine, just want my loud mouth partner back where he is supposed to be”

Peggy laughed “If I know my son he will be back before you know it, now you go get some rest young man, my son is going to need you at your very super-SEAL best”

“He told you he calls me that huh?” Steve smiled, feeling stupidly happy that Danny had shared that with his mum.

“Oh my boy has told me a lot about you and his new family over there, he calls me every few days to keep up with the gossip”

Steve laughed and said his goodbyes, feeling suddenly exhausted as he walked back and dropped back on to the cot next  to Danny’s bed, Steve rolled on to his side, watching him sleep, hesitantly he reached out and took Danny’s hand in his own, drifting in to a restful sleep.

 

Steve was sure someone was saying his name but the voice was so quiet and rough he was having trouble focusing where it was coming from, slowly opening his eyes he blinked the sleep away and found himself staring in to the brightest blue, he smiled stupidly.

“I’d know those eyes anywhere, how you feeling D?

“Alive, which trust me is a big step from where I thought I was babe” Danny told him, his hand still in Steve’s, and it didn’t feel odd to him at all.

“Your parents send their love and are trying to get over here as soon as they can” Steve told him, propping himself up on one arm – he saw Danny’s eyes widen.

“My parents? What did you tell them?”

“Just that you was hurt and had been beaten up, not my place to tell them anything else is it?”

Danny bit his lip and looked away, shaking his head slightly.

“Steve I can’t...I don’t...not yet okay?” his voice trembled and Steve could see he was shaking.

“Babe you know we will have to talk about it but not yet, for now I need to know as much information you can give us to find these fuckers” Steve knew his voice was harsh and clipped but he was angry that Danny had been hurt like this.

Danny slid his hand from Steve’s and nodded, his chest hurt, clenched tight with shame. Steve was pissed at him for letting things go as bad as they did, he couldn’t blame him, his own fault for making a stupid mistake, he felt tears on his face and turned his head so Steve couldn’t see any more of his weakness.

_Don’t let him see you cry, come on nothing worse than a victim crying all the place when all Steve needs is cold hard facts, man up – yeah your such a REAL man right now ain’t you._

 The voices pecked at his brain as he tried to gather his thoughts together making him feel even more insignificant and repulsed.

“When you’re ready you can tell me what happened, we need to know the basics for now, after that you can tell us anything else we have to know, in your own time.”

“Could you call Chin, I’ll give him my statement as soon as he gets here, times wasting as they say huh” Danny told him, his fingers sliding over the cast on his broken arm, his thoughts far from where he was, his throat hurt and he tried to reach out for the glass that was sitting on the table next to him, as he lifted it all the energy went from his body and it almost fell from his hand, Steve jumped up and grabbed it, crowding over the man laying in the bed, Danny flinched away, closing his eyes as he saw the shock cover Steve’s face.

“Danny...?”

“Sorry...Just call Chin please, you need to work – I get that. Can’t have been much fun stuck in here all morning.”

“I haven’t left your side since I found you D except to call your parents, oh and when the doc threw me out to get your cast on, and I am not going anywhere until I have someone to arrest” Steve told him , he held the glass to Danny’s lips.

“Drink, your throat must be hurting.” Steve could see the livid bruising around Danny’s throat; it was turning a purple/green and looked very painful

Danny sipped at the water and lay back; looking up at the ceiling he gave a half smile.

“Getting strangled with my tie kinda did that I think, not sure how much I remember to be honest, you’ve been here all the time?" He didn’t take his eyes from the ceiling as he spoke.

Steve could feel the rage bubbling inside him when Danny had made the offhand remark about his tie, tried to dampen it down so his voice was more level.

“I promised Peggy I wouldn’t leave you alone” he told him simply.

“Peggy huh? You and Ma got pretty chummy by the sound of things” he tried to keep his voice light but it came out rough and sore – he coughed a couple of times and pressed his good hand to his ribs, sighing he closed his eyes.

_“Well that explains the ribs anyway_.”

“Why the fuck did they have to bring me back” he thought he had only said the words in his head but from Steve’s reaction that wasn’t the case.

“What? What the fuck do you mean?”

“They did CPR or something on me a couple of times...I think...never thought I would wish to die but I tell you I did then, I thought ...just call Chin I am only going through this once.”

“You know I can take a statement” Steve tried to keep his voice calm.

Danny looked over at him, Steve looked so strong and capable that he knew he could have taken his statement, but the truth was he had no idea how he would react to what he had to say, things were fucked up and they were going to get worse once Steve found out everything that had gone on in that dingy room.

“Please just call Chin, you will understand ...I’m sorry Steve I think I am gonna fall asleep again” his words were slurring as he slipped under.

“No problem babe I am not going anywhere”

Steve settled back on the cot and sent Chin a message, telling him to get there as soon as he could, he couldn’t fathom why Danny wouldn’t tell him but he had to be calm for once and respect his friends’ decision.

Steve sat and watched Danny sleep, the nurses fluttered in and out checking on their patient, he could tell when he was falling in to dreams as his eyelids began to flicker, he tried to curl up in the bed away from unseen hands beating him, Steve tried to take his hand and Danny snatched it away like he had been burned, his eyes opening wildly as he screamed.

“NO NO DON’T ...STOP JUST STOP I’LL DO IT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THEM!” his voice hoarse, he started to cough as Steve reached over and pressed the glass to his lips.

“Hey its okay, your safe Danny, just drink”

Danny sipped, coughing and laying back on the pillows exhausted and his ribs on fire. He avoided Steve’s eyes, scared of how much disgust he would see.

He knew he wasn’t being rational and deep down he knew that Steve wasn’t judging him but he was judging himself, berating himself for being so foolish for not listening to his gut when he knew he was being set up – knew he should have called for backup or called Steve before he got out of the car.

His lips twisted at the bitter irony of not going by the book, of not following police procedure, he risked glancing over at Steve who stood ram-rod straight the glass still in his hand.

“I’m okay, or I will be ...eventually. So tell me are my folks alright?” he tried to keep his voice normal, level, but the hoarseness made it tough.

“Yeah, after the initial shock of course, I have set your mum up with my details for Skype so they can at least see and speak to you, when you’re ready of course” he finished in a rush as he saw the panic flit across the blondes face.

“Thanks” he told him just as Chin opened the door and came in, a smile stretching across his face as he saw Danny awake.

“Hey Buddy, welcome back to the world”

“Thanks, good to be here I think” Danny tried to laugh but started to cough again, sipping the drink Steve handed him.

“Steve can you go get some food or something while I do this?” Danny’s voice was hesitant and he looked over at his partner, his eyes begging him to comply just this once with his request. Steve nodded, he saw the quizzical look Chin sent him and knew he would be questioned about Danny’s behaviour later.

“I’m gonna go stretch my legs and see if Charlie has found anything, be back in an hour or so, look after him for me Chin”

Chin nodded and took Steve’s seat, looking up as Steve gave Danny a long look before leaving the room, flipping open a notebook he sat poised and ready for whatever his friend had to tell him.

“I’m ready when you are aikane”

 

 

 

 


	6. Revealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny makes his statement and Steve makes his intentions loud and clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and views - i beginning to suspect this story is becoming an out of control monster lol
> 
> Story Notes:  
> Bold Italics are Danny's Statement so it is written in first person - i felt Danny had to have his say, in his own words, so i made them up.
> 
> As ever I have no idea what a real police report is meant to read like, so i took a creative liability and made it up as i thought Danny would word it.
> 
> Enjoy and try not to hate me too much at the end of this chapter - we will get the promised happy ending - but before you get to the good stuff you have to go through the BS right? *hides*

Steve was sitting outside the hospital, reading over the reports that Charlie had emailed him on his phone, his face was set and his brow furrowed in anger, his stomach was heaving in disgust as he read how not one but two semen secretors were found on Danny’s skin, one had been found in a computer search and Kono was sitting on the guys address until he came back and Steve gave the go ahead to pick him up.

“Boss?”

Steve’s head snapped up as he heard Chin, he saw the man falter at the rage that must have been obvious on his face.

“How much did he tell you?” he snapped out. The anger evident in ever line of his lithe body.

“Not all , look he is in a pretty bad way, I left a nurse with him, she gave him a shot so he could get some sleep and calm down, it’s okay she promised not to leave him until one of us got back. He is worried how you’re going to react once you have read the report, it ...it is pretty terrible stuff Steve” Chin told him, sitting next to him on the bench, he hung his head and wanted to weep for his friend and colleague.

Steve patted Chin on the back, his movement’s awkward and tight, anger rolling through his mind as he pieced together the facts they already knew.

“I need to see his statement, Danny shouldn’t be worrying about me and what I think – I need the report please. I have Kono sitting on a suspects address I want you to go back her up, once you know he is in the property ,pick him up and take him back to the Palace, I do not want him in Five 0 head quarters – that filth is not getting anywhere near Danny’s workplace understand me. I’ve called Duke and told him to have a cage pending for him.”

Steve held his hand out for Chin’s notebook, he could understand why he was hesitating but he had to read it sometime and it might as well be now.

“Any leads on the location he was taken too?” he asked as Chin released his grip on the book and handed it over reluctantly. Chin nodded, noticing how tightly Steve gripped the book, he made no move to open it in his presence.

“We were right, it was a warehouse at the docks, an office he says – he said it was pretty dark but he got the impression of an office on the second floor. It’s all in the statement, he says he remembered the stairs because they pushed him down some of them – Jesus Steve what possible reason could they have had for going after one of the Governor’s Task Force?, most criminals keep under our radar, they don’t put themselves in the firing line” Chin’s voice wavered and Steve looked over at him.

“You okay there?” he asked, the man looked shaken.

“I understand Danny’s decision of someone other than you taking his statement, I think you are too close, I am close enough and it was hard hearing him recount what happened. Steve you need to understand that what you’re going to read is going to hurt you, I felt I should warn you. I am going to sit with Danny while you read it, I’ll be back in half an hour or so” Chin explained, standing and walking back towards the hospital.

Steve stared down at the book for a moment letting Chin’s words sink in.

_Of course it’s going to hurt me, my best friend, my Danny! Got attacked and ...oh god I really got to do this before go mad”_

Steve opened the book and began reading, he could almost hear Danny’s voice in his head explaining what went down, he tried to turn his emotions off but as he read more and more he found his anger rising, his heart cinching. Danny had been tricked in to a sickening game – with Grace and Steve used as bait in their trap.

**_*Statement of Detective Daniel Williams as told to Detective Chin Ho Kelly – 8 – 10 – 2013._ **

**_I left my place around 6 o’clock, I was going to have dinner at Commander McGarrett’s home, I didn’t want to be late as he would be in a pissy mood. I was about five miles from his place when I noticed a car broken down on the side of the road, a blue SUV, pulled almost in between two store fronts – it stood out because it was at an odd angle._ **

**_I slowed down – I’m a cop we get suspicious easily I guess – I noticed a woman standing by the car, she was around 25 – 30, short blonde hair, dressed like a soccer mom , you know jeans, sneakers, long shirt – she didn’t look like a tourist. She looked scared, worried, I’m not sure – maybe all of the above, anyway something wasn’t sitting right with me as to how she was parked but she raised her hand to me indicating that she needed help, like I said I’m a cop so I pulled up and got out I was about to ask what was wrong when someone must have snuck up behind me and cracked me over the head with something – hard – I went out like a light._ **

**_I am not sure how long I was out for, when I woke up I had no clothes on, except my tie, I was lying on the floor of some – I later found out – a filthy warehouse – second floor._ **

**_There were four guys in there, they looked to be Caucasian males around the ages of maybe 20 to 28 years old – big guys – look in short they told me they were also holding my Daughter Grace Williams and Commander McGarrett in different parts of the building. They hit me a few times, using fists and lumps of wood, a chair leg I think I’m not sure to be honest I just know they fucking hurt. Choked me out with my tie, a lot, that must have been when they did the CPR because when I woke up they were screaming at each other about going too far and something about how I was meant to be the one to be found alive. They then were shouting about some drug haul that the task force had taken off the street a month or so ago, about how we was going to be made an example of for the local police and the governor – they made it pretty clear what was happening to my daughter and no I am not repeating what they said, I could hear screams and shouts coming from various directions, awful pleading voices - i was sure it was Grace and McGarrett. I had no reason to believe these guys were not telling me the truth. After a while two of the guys left, and one of the remaining guys grabbed me and pulled me on to one of the chairs, I had blacked out a few times, things get blurry around that time and I would like to state that is as much as I am explaining about the attack towards me, what happened after that is not for public record – all you need to know is these guys took me off the street against my will, beat the crap out of me, kicked me down a flight of stairs and had me believing the whole time that my daughter and close friend were experiencing the exact same thing. They told me I was being used as a message to the rest of the HPD, if I didn’t comply with their demands they made towards me then both Grace and Steve would be killed – I did everything they told me too, every single thing – I could not fight back when their lives were in danger._ **

**_I had heard gun shots at some point and was told by one of the returning men that both my daughter and close friend had been murdered and I was being sent home to explain my “condition” yes that was his exact wording – I remember they argued a lot but I can’t tell you what they looked like as there was very little light in the office, I can give vague impressions but that is as much as I can do. As they led me from the office they were dragging me as I was pretty beaten up, one of them pushed me down the stairs and I was then hauled in to the SUV and apparently dumped in front of Commander McGarrett’s home some time the following morning, the big guy, he seemed to be the leader, kicked me in the head on my way out of the vehicle. I woke up once when Steve – Commander McGarrett - found me after that is all pretty much a blur until I woke up this morning. I am stating again that I will do anything and everything I can to be of help to get these men off the streets, and the woman who used herself as bait to trap me - but I refuse to discuss on record the full events as they transpired. If this decision means I will be dismissed from the Five 0 task force then so be it. *_ **

 

Steve sat and stared in to space, Danny had tried to fight for himself and Grace, had done everything those animals had demanded in the attempt to save their lives, he had no way of knowing that his daughter and Steve were nowhere near the warehouse, that they were sleeping peacefully in warm beds while he was beaten and assaulted within an inch of his life.

 Guilt was eating its way through Steve, if he had gone to look for Danny, just taken 20 minutes out of his fucking sulking session then he might have been able to find him, or at least be aware he was missing – they would have done something, anything to find him.

 

He felt a shadow fall over him looked up to find Chin standing in front of him, he knew he had tears running down his face but he didn’t care – tears were nothing after what Danny had endured. Chin took the book from Steve’s hands.

 "I’m sorry you had to read that Boss, Danny’s awake, he asked where you were – you ready to see him?”

 Steve looked in to Chin’s face, he knew how he must look- stricken, guilty and feeling so lost he didn’t know for once in his life how to handle the situation in front of him.

 “I can’t... I can’t face him...I’m sorry Chin I gotta ...I gotta go”

With that Steve stood and did something he had never done in his entire life, he ran, he ran as fast as he could away from the devastation behind him.

****


	7. Gracie hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to run to know where you are meant to be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi   
> I am very sorry i have been so long updating, my laptop decided to catch some virus and i spent most of the day fighting it so i could at least take this chapter off of it - so now laptop is dead, chapter is revived and i am now having to use PC, so my updates may take longer to get up as i can't carry PC around the house like i usually do lol - Enjoy this chapter.

Steve heard Chin shouting his name behind him, shock and anger coating the older detectives’ voice. He kept going, running as far as his truck that Kono had brought over the previous night, his hand was clasped on the handle as he suddenly realised three things.

Firstly he didn’t have the keys. They were in his bag back in Danny’s room.

“ _Danny, alone, scared, waiting for me to return and probably thinking that I won’t. He knows me so much more than I even dare to know myself.”_

Secondly he couldn’t break his promise to Danny’s parents.

Peggy’s voice echoed through his head “ _Is Danny alone at the hospital? He hates being alone Steve, could you ask the nurses or someone over there to stay close to him?_

And thirdly he couldn’t leave his Danny to deal with this on his own.  

He bowed his head against his truck and swore richly,the sun beating on his neck as he tried to gather the courage to return He had never wanted to run so far and for so long in all his life, but he knew if he did that he would be leaving a man behind who meant everything, it meant leaving him to deal with a world of pain alone. Danny may never trust another soul, may never let himself get close to anyone again – in any kind of relationship be it friendship or anything more. Steve knew this was the biggest scariest moment that Danno had ever faced and would ever likely face, he didn’t need an insensitive, idiot of a partner abandoning him like every other person who claimed to love him had.

Steve took a few moments to calm his breathing, wipe the tears from his face and turn on his heel and walk back to where Chin was sitting with his head in his hands – his shoulders slumped as he sat trying to think of what he was meant to say to Danny when Steve didn’t return.

“I need you with Kono as backup, She has been sitting on that guy long enough, I want him taken down – and if Kono slips a round house kick in there I know i won't be seeing it any report – understood. As for the drug haul these guys mentioned we need to cross reference with HPD all drug busts that have taken place in the last couple of months”

Chin looked up to him and smiled slightly “Sounds like a good plan Boss, and where will I be able to contact you?” 

Steve could hear the unspoken question in Chin’s voice, he wanted to know if he was going to stand with Danny while he dealt with his attack or was he going to run again.

“I’ll be with Danny” Steve’s words were clipped and hard, pulling himself up to his full height he walked back in to the hospital, pausing at the door for a moment before softly knocking and walking in to face Danny.

Sad blue eyes lifted to see who had come through the door; he could see the shock lingering there. Steve could tell he had been crying his eyes were red and bloodshot, he seemed to try and melt in to the bed as Steve looked down at him, the bruises on his skin looking livid and angry, Steve could only imagine the terror he had endured thinking Grace’s was being treated like that too.

“Hey – Sorry I took so long I was thrashing some details out with Chin, so um you think you might be up to visitors today? I could call Rachel and ask her to bring Gracie by to see you”

_"So he isn't going to mention it? i don't blame him really, how the hell would he even begin to want to understand what happened, best if I sort it out myself - i am good at doing that...letting my life fall apart all by myself"_ Danny thought sadly, he ached everywhere but he knew at that moment his heart hurt just a little more - What had he expected; Steve to understand? He should have expected Steve to pull away and to be honest he understood - he wished he could just erase it from his memory too.  


_"Yeah like you ever will"_ his mind sneered at him  


Steve watched as the blonde frowned, surprise and something else flittered across his face. Danny bit his lips, his eyes on his lap, his fingers twisting as he thought about what he had been asked, nodding slowly he faked a smile

“I need to see my monkey” 

Steve agreed, taking his phone he called Rachel, after a ten minute argument in which Steve was forced to bring up her new husbands unsavoury friends and his plans for a new hotel she finally agreed to a thirty minute visit with Danny, Steve told her she wouldn’t be welcome in the room if she didn’t keep all opinions on her ex-husband to herself, he could almost feel her anger through the phone.

“We shall be there in an hour, good day Mr McGarrett” and with that hastily ended the call.

“Oh your ex is just a delight isn’t she?” Steve grinned at his partner, who rolled his eyes and gave him a small smile back.

“Well you get thirty minutes of face time with Gracie, you need anything doing before she gets here? You have an hour.” Steve knew he was hovering, knew he was talking around the subject but he knew he couldn’t bring himself to talk to Danny about his statement yet.

“I need to speak to my parents” His voice sounded small and so unlike him that he instantly wanted to call the words back but Steve nodded in understanding, flipping open his laptop he was soon online and checking to see if Danny’s mum was logged in to Skype. 

“They are gonna freak out when they see me like this” Danny indicated to the livid bruising over his chest and upper arms, his hand unconciously tracing the vivid bruise around his throat.

Steve wanted to snatch his hand away when he thought of what they had done to him, thinking for a moment he suddenly  jumped up, dragging one of the new gowns from the cupboard, carefully he helped Danny slide it on, it covered the worst of the bruising on his chest,easing it up as far as it would go to his throat, one arm was covered with a cast and the other they tugged to cover what they could.

“Thanks, nothing I can do about the face though” Danny sighed, sitting up as best he could and wincing in pain. Steve lent in close, invading his personal space like he always did – Danny fought not to flinch away and his eyes went wide with indignation as Steve quipped softly.

“They have had to put up with seeing that face of yours for years D” he smiled, and Danny just shook his head in disgust.

“I am going to tell my Momma you called her favourite boy ugly, you do know that right”

“With those baby blues you could never be ugly” Steve’s voice was soft and his eyes were locked on Danny’s, he smiled even bigger when he saw a flush hit Danny’s cheeks and he dipped his head.

Danny frowned a little, then gave him a half smile, part of him thought that maybe not everything was going to change, the silly banter and ‘almost’ flirting with Steve might somehow just survive this insanity they were living through.

“Ready? I’ll set the call to hook up and I’ll wait outside the door until you have finished” Steve made a move to hit the button when Danny’s good hand closed over his wrist.

“Don’t leave" Danny told him in panic "I’m not sure how I am going to handle seeing them, and the questions...just wait in the room with me, off camera if you want?”

Steve nodded and sat out of range of the camera lens and hit the button to connect the call – the familiar ring tone filled the room and Steve felt Danny grasp for his fingers, he closed his larger hand over his and held on while his parents connected the other end.

“Oh my baby boy” He heard Peggy moan as Danny’s face must have flashed up on the screen.

“I’m okay Ma I promise, bruising, busted arm, couple of ribs – nothing major, no bullet holes to worry about this time” he tried to smile he really did, tried to put his parents minds at ease but Steve could hear the muffled sobs of Peggy and could see it was breaking Danny’s heart.

“How do you feel Son” his dad asked, his voice gruff with unshed tears, hugging his wife close with one arm, he could not believe how badly Danny had been attacked.

“Alive and kicking, aching everywhere but still here, Ma please try and not worry I am in good hands here.” Danny squeezed Steve’s fingers out of view of the camera, hoping he realised he was meaning him; Steve smiled hugely and settled back for the duration of the conversation.

After a little more sobbing from his mother she seemed to give herself a mental shake and focus on Danny again, the worst of the shock behind her as she quizzed him about what they were doing for his pain relief and was there going to be lasting damage.

“So where is Steve? I told him not to leave you alone” Peggy’s voice is stern and almost angry, Steve sits up at the mention of his name and almost blurts out he is right there, but Danny adds a little pressure to his fingers before he can speak.

“He’s close by Ma, I haven’t been alone for a minute since was found.”

This seems to appease his mother who begins to question Danny about his job choice and location, Steve can hear the fear and anger in her voice and sees the tension appearing on Danny’s face as it seems this is an old argument.

Steve wishes he could lean forward and smooth the worry lines from Danny’s face, to soothe whatever past arguments he knows must be coming.

“If you had stayed in Jersey you wouldn’t be in this condition, you know we could have fought Rachel about her leaving, you rolled over for that bitch Daniel and now you’re beaten to a pulp in some god forsaken place.”

Danny sighed and leant back a little on his pillows, knowing what was to follow, knowing his mum would continue on this for at least a good ten minutes.

“Ma you told me you understood my decision, if I had chased Rachel through the courts it would only have ended up hurting Grace and you know I would never do that.” Danny’s voice was angry and weary; Steve could see the fatigue setting in around his eyes and the way he held his shoulders, he was always amazed at how easy he could read Danny’s tone and body language.

“Danny we have always stood by all your decisions and choices, when you told us you didn’t want to follow your dad in to the fire service, when you explained that going back night school would get you further in your career when you became a cop, when you told us you were bi-sexual we didn’t bat an eyelid, right up to your decision to move to Hawaii and...Danny?...oh shit” His mother’s voice trailed off as she noticed her son wasn’t looking at her any more but at someone who must be sitting very close by and who had heard every word.

Steve’s eyes were wide, shocked but not surprised oddly enough, he felt Danny slip his hand from his and he tried to catch it back but it slipped through his hands like water – Steve decided that a full frontal attack on the situation was the only way to go.

Moving to the side he waved at Mr and Mrs Williams on the webcam giving them a big smile, he saw them look at each other and cringe in embarrassment at her slip.

“Dan? Danny speak to me” his mum spoke softly, her voice full of worry.

Steve looked over at his friend and saw the bright flush on his cheeks, his eyes were downcast, he fought hard against the urge to just haul him in to his arms and keep him there.

“Danny?” this time his dad spoke and Danny looked up at the screen and then at Steve, not sure what he was expecting to see but the look of concern was not what he had envisioned at all.

“It’s okay, I should have told Steve sooner I guess, its okay, look I got to go Grace will here very soon – I will tell her that you send her love and we chat in a day or so okay? Ma its fine.” he assured her as she seemed to be on the verge of tears again.

“There is nothing to worry about Peggy, we’ll chat to you both soon and let me know the dates yourself and Jimmy can get over here to visit Danny” Steve put in, watching as Peggy seemed to relax a little.

“I love you son, feel better” and with that his mum ended the call.

The silence hung heavy in the air, Danny was laid back on his pillows. Looking paler than ever, his teeth worried at his bottom lip, his hand flat against the bed sheet – Steve watched him, finally he reached out and covered Danny’s hand – almost laughing as his eyes sprung open.

“I figured you would have made a bolt for the door, big strong army guy like you with me for a partner, the bi-sexual haole.”

“Navy remember...and why would I not want you as my partner? Yeah sure you’re a mouthy, short, Bon Jovi loving pain in the neck...but you’re my Danny...right?” Steve asked, his fingers stroking over Danny’s skin.

“Short? Thanks pal...and yeah I guess I am your Danny, best ex-Jersey cop you’re going to find on this pineapple loving rock” His voice was light but Steve could see the worry edging in to his voice, he seemed to be about to say something else when there was a tap on the door.

Steve jumped up to check who was there; pulling the door open he found a bouncing, beaming Grace and a scowling Rachel on the other side.

“Are the armed police really required Commander? They scared Grace” Rachel snapped out in her haughtiest voice.

“No they didn’t mummy, Hi Uncle Steve where’s Danno”? Grace tried to peer around him – Steve smiled at her sweet face, he always got a warm buzz in her stomach when she called him Uncle Steve. Laying a hand on her shoulder to stop her bouncing for a moment, he crouched down so he was eye level and spoke softly.

“You know your Daddy has been hurt, he is kinda bruised and achy, not his usual gorgeous goofy self, so don’t be scared when you see him, he is going to be fine he just needs lots of rest and looking after.” 

Grace nodded in understanding, taking Steve’s hand he led her in to the room – looking over his shoulder he addressed Rachel.

“Please come in, it will nice for Danny to have some ‘civil’ visitors” his tone warned her smoothly, she glowered and followed her daughter in to Danny’s room, Grace’s eyes filled with tears as soon as she saw her father laying back on the pillows.

“Hey I am fine monkey” he told her, Steve lifted Grace and placed her on the bed next to Danny, she curled around him and It seemed that all the tension slid from his body as he lent close and kissed her hair.

Rachel, for her part, muffled a gasp at Danny’s appearance, looking at Steve with wide eyes, she obviously hadn’t thought his condition was as bad as he had made out; she sat on the chair next to Danny’s bed.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him, her tone a lot lighter than usual.

“Drugs are a wonderful thing, when administered by a doctor” he added for Grace’s benefit, she giggled and smiled up at him.

“How long will you have to be in hospital for Daddy”? 

“A few more days at least, don’t worry monkey face I am going to be fine and guess what? Nana and Gramps are coming over to visit us in a couple of weeks” he smiled as Grace gave a whoop of joy, snuggling closer.

“Peggy and Jimmy are actually going to leave New Jersey? I am surprised I never thought I would see the day” Rachel laughed, as much as there was bad blood between them all, Rachel had never cut off access with her grandparents, she knew how much Grace loved them, and them in return.

“I was kinda surprised too, I have been asking them to come over to see me since we moved here, but you know how Dad is, fire station always comes first.” Danny laughed a little, he caught Steve watching him and ducked his head to kiss Grace on the brow, breathing in her scent, his emotions were all over the place – he had thought that he would never see his daughter alive again, never hear her tinkling laugh or see her bright smiles. 

“I get the feeling his son comes first at the moment” Steve told, Danny just smiled and nodded, he seemed tired but he was determined to spend his whole thirty minutes with Grace.

“I am going to leave you in these lovely ladies capable hands while I go make a couple of phone calls” Steve told them as he stood and made his way to the door, Rachel rose to follow him.

“Grace would you look after Danno while I go outside for a moment”

Grace laughed and nodded; Danny frowned and watched as they left him alone with his daughter.

As soon as they stepped through the door Rachel grabbed Steve’s arm and pulled him to a stop.

“What the hell happened to him? If I had known how bad it was I would have been here last night”

“He was unconscious last night, Grace would have been terrified to see him like that – I did explain to you the seriousness of his injuries Rachel if you chose to believe I was lying there is not much I can do about that.

“I meant I would have been here on my own, I am the only family he has on this island apart from Grace, and whatever you might think of me I will always love Daniel, he will always be Grace’s father.” Her tone was brisk and Steve could tell she was close to tears.

“Grace is his family, and the task force – not you any more, not since the divorce Rachel, and maybe you should remember how much you love Danny when you are trying to stop him from seeing his daughter because of his job. It was because he is a father that he is so badly hurt and sustained so many injuries, he was under the impression he was protecting Grace and myself, he was led to believe that we had been taken as well – So next time you phone him to bitch him out for being late while he is chasing some criminal or other you should remember that.” With that Steve turned and went outside to phone Chin, leaving Rachel to rejoin her daughter and ex-husband.

Steve sat on the bench and hung his head, he was exhausted and confused as hell and truth be told he needed a little space to wrap his head around a few things.

First things first he called Chin, and was relieved to hear that the capture of the first suspect had gone without a glitch, and yes Kono had not only give the guy a round house kick but Chin had managed to get a punch in as well as they guy resisted arrest. Steve was not surprised that they guy had spit out the names of his accomplices after only 20 minutes of being in the ‘blue room’ with Kono, she could terrify any suspect. Chin was in the process of accessing the other three guys addresses and rap sheets. Once the remaining DNA and evidence was back from the lab they would have an air tight case. After chatting for a few moments about Danny’s condition Steve hung up and sat back, tipping his face to the sun.

He felt he could suddenly breathe again, they were going to have all the accused in custody within a few hours, Danny was spending some much needed face time with Grace, Rachel might have actually thawed towards Danny- for the time being at least.

Finally and probably most interesting for Steve he had discovered Danny was bi-sexual, he was going to give Peggy an extra big hug when he met her for spilling those particular beans.

He knew that there was no reason for him to think that Danny may ever be interested in him, Danny had a long way to go before he might ever think of being in a relationship again after what happened to him, but the smallest window of hope had opened for Steve – and he wished he had known about Danny’s orientation when he had met him, things could have been so different.

Rubbing his hands over his face wearily he wandered back in to the hospital, just in time to see Grace and Rachel slipping out the door.

“He’s asleep, we have decided I am going to bring Grace back to see him tomorrow, for no more than half an hour as it seems to wear him out to have too many visitors.” Rachel told him, pausing as Grace hugged Steve goodbye, Steve thanked Rachel and received a curt nod in return, and shaking his head he walked back in to Danny’s room, trying to figure out why the hell he had ever got involved with his ex-wife in the first place.

Danny was asleep, looking pale and exhausted, sliding the extra gown from his body Steve lay down on the cot beside him, taking Danny’s hand in his own he whispered "I am going to be right here Danno, for as long as you need me to be, I promise."  



	8. An Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations, recriminations and visualisation.
> 
> I still suck at summaries - and i don't want to give too much away, but things get revealed, people feel guilty and Steve comes face to face with something he wishes he hadn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having to use the PC now and can I just say - I HATE WRITING ON THE PC . lol okay rant over - enjoy this chapter and thanks for sticking with the story, we still have a way to go but we're getting there.

Steve was yanked from his sleep at around 3am, the cries that filled the room seemed stifled and far away, looking around he saw Danny almost hanging off the side of his bed, his hand pressed to his face as he whimpered and cried, trying to smother the sounds.

“Danny?” Steve spoke lightly, scared of touching him – not knowing if Danny was asleep or awake.

“I'm sorry, so sorry please just go Steve...I tried not to wake you, just go home ...I'll be fine just need to get things straight in my head” Danny's voice came out in a rush, his words falling each other.

Steve shook his head and gently manoeuvred Danny back on to the bed, sitting on the edge he looked at him – tears falling from eyes, Steve reached out and wiped them away, ignoring Danny's protests , ignoring his demands that Steve leave him.

“I am not leaving you, understand me...not only did I promise Peggy but I realised I can't leave you Danno, not after what you went through”  
  
Danny's head came up at that, he shook his head once, warning Steve not to continue, his eyes begging him not too.

“You are going to have to talk about it with someone, you know that Danny”

Steve frowned as Danny laughed, a harsh disbelieving sound.

“Oh who would like to hear that huh? You? Mr Super-Seal, Mr save the world on a regular basis. I didn't think so, look I am going to be fine, alone...I am always fine...alone. I am an expert at it, gold medal finalist!” he finished angrily, waving his good arm in the air.

Steve shook his head and went to touch his hand.

“Don't Steve, just go home, it's late, you're tired and you can come by tomorrow and just pretend I got a little beating and will go back to being 'Danno' in no time, bruises fade, bones heal – I'll deal with being used like those bastards personal cum bucket, oh god... just go...please” Danny curled up in the bed and began to sob, he had said too much and he knew that, he closed his eyes and waited for the door to open and close but it didn't happen. 

“I'm not going anywhere so get used to it, I am not leaving you, when you want to talk – about everything that happened you can talk to me.” Steve's voice was hard and his heart was aching. Watching Danny sob like that but he knew he couldn't do anything else until he let him in.

 

They didn't speak for the rest of the night, Danny sobbed himself back to sleep and Steve sat by his bed and didn't take his eyes off of him, he knew there would be a time to talk but Danny wasn't ready to do that yet – and when he did Steve would make sure he was the one to listen...to everything, he owed Danny that much and so much more.

The next morning Danny woke to find Steve and Chin whispering in the corner, they were discussing the case he realised, he heard them say that the guys had all been arrested and he felt like he could breathe a little easier knowing that.

Chin was the first to realise Danny was awake and rushed over to help him sit up, Steve hung back a little – waiting for Danny to order him out of the room. 

“Hey the doc said you should be out of here in a couple of days, and Steve got an email from your mum and Dad they will here in 7 days to visit for a week – You need any thing buddy?” Chin asked him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Danny looked over at Steve, their eyes met and held and with mutual understanding they let the previous nights conversation be put on the back burner.

“Someone is gonna need to go empty my fridge out, collect me some groceries, get my meds for when I go home – then I should be all set” he told Chin, then frowned as Chin and Steve exchanged a look

“What?” his tone suspicious as he looked between the two men.

“You aren't allowed to go to your apartment once you get out of here, Doc's orders, You either stay with me or your stuck in here for another two weeks at least. I'm sorry Danny but I don't make the rules” Steve explained as Danny looked ready to combust.

“I am an adult! I can sign myself out of here right now!” he told them angrily. 

“Yes you can, but if you do and then relapse the department won't cover the cost unless your taking medical advice. It will only be for a few days and I thought your parents could stay at my place too while their visiting, be cheaper than a hotel and more room than your apartment, plus you have the beach to chill out on while you recuperate.”

“Yeah because we all know how much I love the sand and the ocean.”

“Well Gracie does, and she could come over and visit.” Steve argued.

Chin looked between the two men and sighed, not much changed with them – holding up his hand in a truce he stood and moved to the door.

“Okay ladies I am going to go buy breakfast, malasadas and coffee all round?”

He grinned as both men nodded and went back to their argument, closing the door on them he breathed a sigh of relief to be out of the combat zone.

“Steve I do not want to live with you, I want to be alone, to get back on my feet and get back to work – that's it – I thought I made myself plain last night” Danny told him between clenched teeth.

“I do not make the rules and I can tell the doc you want to stay here, have your parents pay for a hotel and you only get to see Gracie for thirty minute's a day! I want to help and I live in that house alone, its too big for me so I am not even going to notice you're there and if you want when your parents come visit I will stay at a fucking hotel!” he shouted, rubbing his hand over his face he slumped in to a seat next to the bed.

He hung his head in his hands and felt his shoulders slump.

“I want to help, you thought you were helping me when this happened, thought you was saving mine and Grace's lives – let me repay that at least” His voice was so soft that Danny almost didn't catch it.

He heard Danny catch his breath, felt his hand on his shoulder as he spoke.

“You don't have to repay me anything, you have nothing to feel bad about Steve, I should have realised they wouldn't have been able to sneak up on a Super SEAL, look I'll stay but you need to stop pushing at me to explain everything I can't and I won't...you don't need to ever hear that and what I said last night I want you to forget, promise me”

Steve raised his eyes to Danny's and nodded in agreement, taking a deep breath he rubbed his hands over his face.

“I wish Chin would hurry up with that coffee” 

“I thought you preferred Tea?”

“Coffee makes me tense, I need to be tense with you around” he joked lightly, Danny grinned and nodded in agreement.

 

After Chin arrived back with breakfast, and Danny complained he should have most of the sweet malasadas, Kono arrived and took Steve to one side explaining that one of the men had given up the address as to where the attack had taken place, she had sent CSU but felt he should go – to make sure it was processed thoroughly.

Steve agreed, making an excuse to Danny and leaving him with Kono and Chin for company, he promised as soon as he returned they could call his parents on Skype and get the arrangements dealt with.

He left a slightly more calm Danny, he followed the instructions Kono had given him and thirty minutes later found himself outside a warehouse, CSU was already there and nodded in greeting as he strode past, pulling on latex gloves as he went.

Walking up the stairs he knew Danny had been kicked down made the bile rise in his throat, he could see that the guys had already collected blood samples from a few places on the staircase – Danny's blood – he set his jaw as he walked in to the office and felt like throwing up.

A bare bulb hung from the ceiling, a desk and chair – with rope pooled at it's feet – stood in the centre of the room, the air was thick with blood and semen and Steve wanted to throw up on the spot. He could see various guys collecting samples and taking pictures, they were looking at Steve and talking amongst themselves quietly.

One of the men was crouched taking a photo of something balled up on the floor – stepping closer he recognised it as one of Danny's ties, the one Grace had bought him for Christmas last year. The one that had been used to choke the air from his lungs while they beat and attacked him.

At that moment an ear splitting cry filled the warehouse, followed by a man howling in pain – turning on his heel Steve bolted for the cause of the noise, almost stumbling as he found a CSU tech turning off a sound system. That was the reason Danny had not fought back, he thought those screams of terror and pain were Steve and Grace.

“Whoever did this are pretty sick fucks sir” the tech told him, placing the tapes and sound system in to marked evidence bags.

“ _God Danny I am so sorry, how you thought that noise was anything but real, You thought you was hearing your daughter being raped and murdered, thought I was being abused the same way as you. So you complied, you let them do whatever they wanted too just so they would not hurt us”_

“I want this whole place covered inch by inch, I want this evidence to nail those fuckers to the wall – do you understand me?” Steve demanded , the tech nodded.

“Sir we will make sure there isn't one loop hole for them to crawl through, if we have enough evidence your partner may not even have to be in the court room”

Steve thanked him and left, driving first to Danny's apartment – he pulled out the key Danny had given him when he had moved in, setting about emptying the fridge – all ready made meals for one and beers, that was the sole contents.

Moving in to Danny's room he took in the unmade bed, the strewn clothes that he figured were dirty – finding a sports bag in the closet he loaded it with crisp shirts, t-shirts, a couple pairs or trousers, some shorts , jeans and a pair of swim shorts. Moving to the chest of drawers he basically emptied them of socks and boxers,grabbing a couple of pairs of shoes and some sneakers.

Steve felt weird that he was in Danny's personal space without Danny chattering away at him, or bitching – which he did quite a lot.

Stepping in to the bathroom Steve sighed at the amount of hair products Danny used and just swept the whole lot in to the bag with his arm, grabbing his clippers, shaver and toothbrush before he collected Danny's shampoo and shower gel from the shower stall. Taking a last look round he spotted aftershave and deodorant on the windowsill and threw those in too, he knew Danny was proud of his appearance,he had a right to be with that sunny blonde hair, sky blue eyes and muscle bound physique.

Wandering back through the apartment Steve caught sight of a half read book, a crime thriller of course, on Danny's bedside table and added that too – along with his 'Enemy mine' DVD and his 'The Godfather' collection – on the way out the door he snagged a couple of Bon Jovi CD's from the shelf and grinned, now that would surprise Danny that he had remembered those.

Once back at the hospital he found Danny and Chin chatting about baseball, Kono was curled up on the end of the bed looking bored but happy to listen – she preferred more contact in her sport. 

Danny frowned at the bag – then brightened as he realised Steve had been to his place.

“Clothes? Real clothes? No more gowns that show off my ass every time I go to the bathroom” 

Steve laughed and nodded – Kono winked at Danny.

“Shame I got to miss that Pal” 

Danny blushed and threw a pillow at her, leaning in to the bag he dragged out a t shirt and some shorts – carefully climbing from the bed and sliding around so Kono didn't get a view of his backside,never had he been more glad that those damn iv's had been taken out, Kono dipped in to the bag and threw a pair of blue boxers at him.

“They match your eyes” she laughed as he caught them awkwardly and dashed in to his bathroom.

As soon as the door closed, both the other detectives swung to look at him with questioning glances.

Steve let his guard drop and sat on the edge of the bed speaking quietly, listening to Danny putter around in the bathroom.

“I think I have just seen what hell looks like, I was almost sick...The CSU guys say they should be able to find enough evidence that Danny won't have to even appear in court, I heard the tapes of the screaming – the ones that Danny thought were me and Grace – oh god they were terrible, I understand why he thought he was not the only one there, they had a sound system set up and the noise was bouncing off the damn walls – it sounded like there were men and children screaming everywhere” Steve finished in a shaky voice, Kono stood and hugged him, looking at her cousin she saw the same rage painted on his feature as she knew they all wore.

There was silence for a moment and then a muffled curse from the bathroom, Steve was on his feet and knocking on the door in a heartbeat.

“Danny you okay in there?”

The door opened and a very pissed off Danny looked back at him – still wearing his gown.

“I can't get in the shower, can't get fucking dressed on my own” he told him, walking back to the bed and plopping himself back down.

Steve rung the bell for the nurse – Danny didn't even ask why he was too fed up and tired to ask. As she walked in the room Steve stepped up and spoke to her quietly.

“Would it be possible for Danny to have help with a shower?” 

Danny lifted his head and looked at the nurse sadly, giving his best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

“Now they do not work with my son and he is about your age, but I will be back in about five minuets and I'll help you okay”? She told him kindly – Danny smiled and thanked her.

While he waited Kono and Chin said their goodbyes, promised Steve they would send Kamekona back in with some food, and warned Danny that Max was going to come in for a visit later that evening – Danny smiled at that – He liked Max's quirky way of talking.

Once they were on their own Danny turned to Steve.

“Thanks for getting my stuff, I really need to wash my hair, although I think I may just shave it off – be cooler in this heat.

Steve raised his eyebrows in shock.

“But you love your hair” he spluttered.

Danny just shook his head and wandered to the bathroom to wait for the nurse.

 


	9. Towels and Skype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Towels, Skype and chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, I am kinda surprised how any people are reading this - I thought maybe the dark subject matter would put people off. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Steve sat back on the cot and waited for Danny to finish his shower, rubbing his hand over his head he wondered what had made Danny make that comment about his hair – he decided he would ask him about it later, he knew how important his hair was to Danny.  


After saying 'Hi' to the replacement secruity guard at thie change of shift, Steve lay back on the bed and waited for Danny to come out of the bathroom, after what seemed like forever he stepped in to the room, smiling at the nurse who had helped him, he looked more like Danno, the bruises still angry and livid,but more like his Danno.

“So Danny you're going to have to have someone help you in a shower for a couple of weeks yet, I could show you're friend how he has to help if you like?” she explained, looking over at Steve – he nodded in agreement, waiting for Danny to say something.

“Uh yeah, maybe tomorrow?” Sad, shy blue eyes met his for a moment.

The nurse nodded and helped him back to the bed giving him a small smile as she left. He looked exhausted and pale – like he had run a marathon not just had a shower – he sat back against the pillows and tried to spear his hands through his hair, huffing in annoyance when his cast snagged, cursing under his breath.

Steve looked at him, bit his lip as he asked, his voice low.

“Want me to help?” 

Wary blue eyes raised to his, nodding slightly he sat rigid as Steve lent forward, spiking his hands back through Danny's damp hair a couple of times, like he had seen him do it a thousand times – each strand felt silky over Steve's rough palms, he wasn't going to deny he had wanted to do this for a long time but not under these circumstances, he figured he would have been kissing Danny when he got his first touch of his blonde locks.

Danny froze, eyes closed tight, Steve frowned and stepped back, wondering if he had realised his thoughts.

“All done, as good as I can make it pal” he told him softly.

“I'm gonna go shower, want me to set up the laptop for you while I'm in there?” he asked, trying to break the silence that hung between them.

Danny nodded, watching as Steve placed the laptop in front of him, booted it up and then wandered in to the bathroom.

Danny breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed behind him, feeling Steve hands in his hair had spiked his emotions – on the one hand he had been terrified that Steve had been so close and on the other he was terrified Steve had been so close.

“ _Yes I know they are the same thing but I was terrified for different reasons – firstly his simple touch had brought back so many memories that I thought I was going to throw up, remembering them touching me, tugging my hair, manoeuvring me,pushing me down on...No don't think about that. The on the flip side the instant I felt his touch I wanted to curl up and be petted like a damn kitten – Why the fuck this had to happen to me I really wish I knew, just when me and Steve seemed to be moving closer and now that is all gone. No way is he is going to want me now! Why the hell should he, even if he does swing both ways does not mean he is going to want an obviously damaged ex-jersey cop with even more issues than ever before.”_

His brain raged at him, Danny had never felt so lost, so alone – not even when he had first moved to this god forsaken island with no one who gave a damn about him except Grace. He had not made any friends in the HPD since he arrived,Meka Hanamoa being the only one who took him under his wing, who excepted his anger for what it was – fear, fear of the unknown. 

Danny had detested going home every evening to his cramped and dingy apartment, all he could afford since the divorce and custody hearings had bled him dry. Before he had joined the task force every night had been the same, back to one man meals and beer and whatever crap he could find on the TV, even his phone calls home he had limited due to cost and he knew he could have used Skype – but he rarely did because just seeing his parents made him miss them even more – he wished they were with him at that moment, a constant to hang on.

Looking down at the laptop Danny smiled, clicked open the Skype tab and sighed in relief when he saw his mother was signed in – wiping a trembling hand over his face he hit the call button and waited for her to answer.

“ _Things were different though once you joined Five 0 wasn't it? Usually dinner with if not one but all of the team, beers at Steve's, Shrimp with Kame,surfing with Kono on the weekends I don't have Grace, long chats with Chin, late night shifts going through reams of evidence, take-out runs and arguing with Steve about forgetting his wallet, or about him driving to fast, hanging people off of buildings, throwing them in shark tanks, his insane science 'Steve' moments or just arguing...with Steve...for fun.”_

He shook the thoughts away as his mother appeared on the screen in front of him, he smiled and waved – frowning at how apprehensive she looked.

“Mum? Everything okay”?

“Oh baby boy I'm fine, I was worried you wouldn't call me back ...I am so sorry I blurted that out yesterday, it was not my place.” she told him her voice trembling.

He shook his head and plastered a smile on his face “Mum everything is okay, I should have told him sooner I guess but he is okay about it – I'm still Danny ya know” he chuckled.

His mum laughed, glad to seem a little of Danny's humour creeping back, she was so worried he had lost his spark after she had seen him the day before.

“Yes you are sweetie, my best boy – how are you feeling today?”

They slipped in their easy chat for five minutes before Danny glanced up at the opening of the bathroom door – it was as if a Greek god had stepped in the room, all tanned taut muscles, tattooed skin and abs to die for - his mouth hung open for a moment and then he snapped it shut.

“STEVEN! Put some clothes on my mother is in the room”

Steve went ramrod straight, looking around the room – dressed as he was in only a towel, which was hung perilously low around his hips, water sliding down his chest, his hair wet and sticking to his head.

“Um I don't see her? Is she shorter than you?!” Steve quipped grabbing an extra towel and rubbing at his hair, making it stand up in crazy spikes, suddenly realising that Danny meant she was on Skype and therefore couldn't actually see him.

Peggy let out a burst of laughter as Danny spun the laptop around and showed him his mother on the laptop – then closed his eyes in shock when he realised that his mum could now SEE Steve in all his towel draped glory.

A loud wolf whistle pierced the air and Steve had the good graces to blush and in turn shout at Danny, using his hair towel to try and cover the rest of him.

“DANIEL now she CAN see me! Turn that thing back around”

Danny did as he was ordered and had to laugh as his mother booed at him for taking the image of Steve away – then almost choked as she gave Steve a two thumbs up and a big wink in Danny's direction.

“Babe you okay?” Steve asked, dashing to his side to give him a glass of water to sip from – he took the drink gratefully, trying not to drown as Steve draped his arm around his shoulders to help him with the glass – too much skin pressing against him, too much Steve.

Peggy nodded in praise at his behaviour, her boy was being well taken care of as far as she could see, and she could see a lot of Mr McGarrett – his arm was around Danny's shoulders as he helped him sip the water, She was glad to see her son seemed to have better taste in choosing a partner this time around.

“I think Danny is okay now Steve, so how are you?” Peggy rejoined the conversation seeing as the two men seemed to have forgotten she was there, their eyes only for each other.

“Argh” he cried, jumping out of range of the web cam which only started Danny off laughing again, holding his ribs in pain as tears ran down his cheeks – It was at that moment that Kamekona came strolling in to the room, arms loaded with food and as soon as he caught sight of the half naked and hiding McGarrett and the laughing Danny he rolled his eyes.

“Damn loco haole's, man brings you food and your acting like children. Boss go put some clothes on or no shrimp for you, and stop making Danny laugh he is hurting brah” he ordered.

Steve grabbed his clothes and ran back to the bathroom while Danny lay back on the bed and caught his breath – it was at that moment that Kame spotted Peggy on the web cam.

“Hey pretty lady! Who you be?” he gave her a big sunny Hawaiian smile and sat himself on the edge of the cot so he could see the laptop.

“Kamekona meet my mum Peggy Williams, Mum meet Kamekona - shrimp king and business man extraodinaire” Danny explained introducing the pair, wiping his cheeks and gasping as his ribs felt like they were on fire.

“Hi Kamekona, oh Danny I'm sorry but it was good to see you laugh baby. Now where did that gorgeous man run off too?”

“Why I am right here Peggy” Kame joked and Danny laid back and rolled his eyes, listening as Kame and his mother flirted outrageously.

“Mum? Where's dad by the way?” he broke in, smiling as Steve came back in to the room in jeans and a t-shirt – he smirked at Danny and shook his head at the silliness of the moment.

“He is working out his cover for the fire house for when we come visit, you know how he gets, no one can run the place but him he thinks” She smiled at the inside joked they obviously shared.

“Its going to be so good to see you, it's been way too long” he told her honestly, he felt his eyes begin to swim with tears, Steve noticed and edged himself on to the edge of the bed beside him, careful of his ribs.

“Hi again Peggy, sorry about that.” he told her, waving his hand in the direction of the bathroom by way of explanation.

“Oh do not apologise Steve” she told him, her lips quirked as he blushed and shook his head , laughing softly.

“Well I am not sure if Danny has told you but the doctor has told him he can come home in a couple days, but only if he stays with me. He argued about that but I won –OW so much aggression Daniel” he quipped as Danny punched him in the arm, then grimaced as his arms stung with the exertion, Steve took is arm across his lap and rubbed at it absent-mindedly as he continued speaking to Peggy.

“Idiot, anyway seeing as he will be staying with me that means when you and Jimmy come to visit you can both stay at my house too, that way Grace can come over and you can have some quiet times with Danny too” he explained, looking over at his friend , he ducked h is head knowing what Steve was alluding too – knowing he meant when he told his parents of the attack and the true extent of what had happened.

Peggy frowned for a moment at his choice of words and watched her son's body language, clearly she was going to need to have some long talks with Danny to get whatever it was out of him.

“And of course you and your good husband will be invited on a free helicopter tour of the island from myself” Kame broke in, Danny and Steve looked over at him and both shook their heads.

“No way are my parents going up in that death trap with you flying” Danny stated.

“Then I'll fly it, I am sure they would love to see the islands from the air” Steve grinned, Peggy laughed as the two men started to bicker, Kame rolled his eyes and looked at Peggy.

“They argue like old married couple, they need you to come bang their heads together I think” he told her honestly. Laughing Peggy watched them, there was so much love and understanding on show it was plain to see for everyone but them.

After another ten minuets of chatting and arguing they signed off of Skype, with Danny promising to contact his mother soon – Steve moved the laptop and set Danny up with some food while he left the room to call Chin for any updates on the case.

As he was talking to Chin he saw Grace and Rachel arrive – waving as Gracie skipped past him to her daddy's room, he grinned as she high five'd the security detail outside the door – the big man gave her a grin and let them in to Danny's room – for her part Rachel barely glanced his way.

“Yeah sorry Chin what was you saying?” he murmured, loosing his track of thought for a moment.

“I said CSU are still processing the evidence, but it seems if we get them all pinned with DNA and fingerprints Danny won't have to testify, the case will stand on forensics alone. They are all squealing on each other, the only one of the gang we can't find is the woman – but we have a lot of feelers out over the island and have her picture sent to the airport so she is on the no fly list, we'll find her” his voice hard and full of purpose.

“Yeah I know we will, you and Kono go get some rest, come in to see Danny tomorrow – he has plenty of visitors right now”

After exchanging farewells Steve rolled the tension from his shoulders, his mind could not get off of how Danny had looked at him as he stepped from the bathroom,his knees had all but buckled at the sheer intensity of his gaze.

In all honesty he had just forgotten to take a change of clothes in with him, but seeing Danny's reaction and then the subsequent chaos with Peggy, he had never been so happy to be half naked, not if it meant he could hear the old Danny laughing and shouting at him again.

Wandering back to the room he had to smile as Danny sat on the bed with Grace at his side, both of them eating shrimp, Rachel was chatting with Kamekona about his latest business ideas, and frowning at the man's apparent business brain – who would have thought it.

After everyone had left Danny called for the nurse and spoke to her quietly for a few moments, Steve didn't question him when she came back with a pill for him to take. After she left he lay back on the bed, looking tired.

“It was a sleeping pill, I don't want any more nightmares tonight” he told him simply, already drifting off to sleep.

Steve sat and watched him for a long time, he knew Danny would have to talk about the attack soon or the nightmares would follow him forever – but for tonight at least he looked calm and peaceful, Steve lay down and took his hand, tears springing to his eyes as Danny linked his fingers trustingly through his as he slept.

 

 


	10. Confessions of Max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max comes to visit and makes Steve and Danny think...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> This is the first time I have ever attempted to write Max's 'voice' - I hope I did him justice as I love his character so much lol

The next morning Steve awoke to see Danny looking at him, his brow was furrowed in pain, his hand still linked loosely with Steve's – the moment he realised Steve was awake he slipped his hand away and looked up at the ceiling,groaning softly.

“You okay babe?” Steve asked, leaning up on his elbow, rubbing his hand over his head to rush the webs of sleep from his brain, his voice gravelly.

“Head hurts like a sonofabitch” he whispered, closing his eyes on the brightness of the room.

“Its the sleeping pills, I had to stop taking them after I came back from Korea, the headaches were worse than the fucking nightmares” Steve told him honestly.

Danny's eyes sprang open at the words, brow creasing as he struggled to look at Steve, pain etched around his mouth and eyes.

“I didn't realise...I'm sorry babe I should have been there for you more” he whispered, he reached out to take his hand, hesitating before he closed his fingers around Steve's again.

“Babe you saved my life, you found me in the truck – and when I got back you stayed for a week, I won't ever forget that. You had you're own life to get back to.”

Danny nodded, grimaced at the movement then closed his eyes again.

“Ah yes my full, important life – frozen meals for one, a couple of long necks and Dr Phil, what a life I lead” he whispered.

“You could have stayed as long as you liked Danny, it got pretty lonely in that big house after you moved out to be honest – although I did not miss you're eggs for breakfast” Steve chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

“Hey my daughter loves my eggs...fuck my head hurts...could you call the nurse for me please, ask her for something – a pill,injection an axe...just something.” His voice sounded weak from the pain.

Steve leant up and over Danny to ring the bell beside his bed – moving down again he rubbed his thumb over Danny's wrist.

“Wait there I have an idea” 

“I really don't think I could move if I wanted too babe” Danny replied.

Steve slipped from his bed, rushed in to the bathroom and found a wash cloth, running cold water on it he wrung it out and dashed back to Danny's side.

“Keep your eyes closed, this might help a little” He told him as he draped the cool wash cloth over his eyes, hearing Danny sigh as the light was blocked out and the coolness eased his raging head.

At that moment a nurse dashed in, looked at Danny and grimaced.

“Headache huh? I'll go get him something” 

She was back a few moments later and pressed some pills in to Danny's hand, he swallowed them down and lay back on the bed as she left.

“I don't think I am going to be able to take any more sleeping pills babe, you better use my headphones while I am staying with you” Danny whispered, it seemed even his own voice hurt his pounding skull.

“What do you mean Danno?”

“No sleeping pills mean nightmares, means you woken up night after night – Steve I really should just go back to my apartment – I managed when I had my busted knee, I'll be okay on my own.” 

Steve shook his head in wonder at the blonde laying so still and miserable in the bed a couple of feet from him. Worrying more about Steve missing some sleep than himself suffering terriflying nightmares.  


“Danny I want to help you. If you have any nightmares we will deal with it okay? We're partners remember.”

Danny nodded, and drifted back in to a fitful sleep – leaving Steve time to lay there and think about all that having Danny living with him would entail. 

He needed to get his and Mary's old rooms ready for Danny and Grace, needed to tidy up and buy food – and tell the governor he would be taking a leave of absence while Danny was recuperating – fuck him if he said no this was more important than any job he had every had.

He needed to make sure Rachel would let Grace come visit Danny at his house, he knew she had thawed for the moment but that didn't mean she would comply that easily, she really was a stone cold bitch when she wanted to be.

Later that morning, while Danny was still asleep Chin and Kono arrived to visit – they decided to leave Chin on 'Danny duty' while Steve and Kono went to his place to get things ready.

After a stop at the grocery store, with Kono pointing out Danny's favourite junk food, and giggling in glee every time Steve rolled his eyes at how bad it was for him.

“How the hell can he stay in such good shape and still eat like an eight year old” Steve mumbled as he threw Oreo's, Twinkie's and chips in to the cart along with a more healthy selection of groceries.

Next stop was new bedding and towels for his guest and Grace if she came to stay overnight while Danny was there – Steve decided on dark blue, grinning when Kono told him that was a good choice, blue always made Danny's eyes brighter.

“And do not try and tell me you haven't noticed that Boss man” she laughed as he shrugged on the way back to his truck.

“I noticed” he told her simply, she just smiled and nodded that she knew that already. 

Kono had chosen dolphins for Grace, bright pink towels and a couple of girlie cushions – she decided Grace would love her Uncle Steve all the more for them.

Last stop was to pick up half a dozen crime novels and a few all out action DVD's, Steve didn't own many and he knew most of the DVD's at Danny's place were Disney classics he had bought for Grace, he threw 'Mulan' and 'Cars' in to the cart too – reasoning that Grace would probably need kid friendly entertainment.

“They are kinda 'boyish' Boss” Kono told him, laughing when he relented and grabbed a copy of 'Beauty and the Beast' too.

Once back at McGarrett's house they scrubbed and cleaned the 20 years worth of dust bunnies from Steve's old room, going as far as calling Kamekona to find them new mattresses for the large double beds from one of his many cousins.

“They needed a new ones” he explained as Kame and Flippa showed up less than an hour later with the new ones, hauling the old ones away for them.  


Once the bed was made up, the adjoining bathroom was squeaky clean, and every surfaced polished within an inch of it's life Steve stood back and smiled, Kono frowned for a moment and dashed down the stairs, returning with a framed picture that had been in Steve's den of himself, grace and Danny taken earlier in the summer – placing the photo frame next to Danny's bed she smiled.

“Now he can come home”

Steve looked at her and smiled. Home – Danny's home – he liked the sound of that.

After cleaning out Mary's room, adding the new mattress and bedding, towels all ready in the small pink bathroom next door – it could have been made to measure for Grace.

Steve was suddenly struck how Grace was the same age as Mary had been when Doris had 'died', it was like the room was waiting for another little 10 year old girl to take up residence again - he sighed as he opened the windows so the bad memories could fly away, not that he told Kono that, he didn't want her thinking her SEAL Boss was going soft.

They got back to the hospital in the late afternoon, Danny was sitting up in bed chatting to his mum on Skype – Chin next to him being thoroughly entertained by Peggy it seemed, Jimmy was once again at the fire house – Steve was wondering how the man would react at being away from the place for a week.

“Hi Peggy” Steve called as he waved at the web cam, grimacing when she told him sadly.

“Oh you have clothes on today?” 

Which meant Peggy had to then recount to Chin and Kono the events from the previous day, while he and Danny shook their head and stole grinning glances at each other.

“Your mum talks more than you” Steve whispered.

Danny laughed and just nodded, his headache was gone but he was feeling tired and everyone seemed to sense that – Peggy signed off and Chin and Kono made a discreet exit.

“So everything is ready for you to come home, new mattresses, bedding, DVD's and books all waiting for you – and yes there is now junk food in my house” Steve told him as he lay on the cot, on his side so he could see Danny better.

“Babe you didn't have to do all that, I will repay you I promise” 

Steve just held up his hand – stopping him.

“No you won't, I don't want you too and I guess I shouldn't tell you me and Kono went nuts and bought new bedding and stuff for Gracie huh? Or that I called Rachel and she has agreed Grace can stay over next Friday night?” Steve's voice was low, worried he might have over stepped in to Danny's life to much.

“She can stay? Thank you so much for doing that” Danny's voice trembled, tears spilling from his eyes as Steve looked on concerned , not knowing what to do.

“I thought I had lost her Steve...when they told me...oh god – okay I'm fine, just thank you so much for doing that, it is beyond amazing.” he gripped Steve's hand, Steve could feel the tremor running through it – linking their fingers together he pressed a soft kiss on Danny's bruised knuckles.

Danny's eyes went wide with shock at Steve's touch, he didn't pull away, he didn't know how he felt – he just knew he didn't want to move at that moment, he didn't want to break whatever spell seemed to be over them.

“I just want you to be happy Danno” Steve's voice was watery and he knew it and he didn't care.

“I am going to try to be, I promise” came the soft reply.

 

They lay in silence, both drifting in to a light sleep – a couple of hours later a commotion outside the room had Steve springing to his feet and pulling his gun from his holster – sliding up to the door he pulled it open and was shocked to see Max being handcuffed by the security guy.

“Steve?” Danny's voice was laced with fear as he recoiled in the bed at the speed that Steve had moved.

“It's okay Danny it's just Max – What the fuck is going on here?!” He demanded to both men.

“Would you please explain to this ape that I am in fact a close personal friend of Detective Williams and to let me go before he does serious damage to my wrists” Max snapped out, Steve signalled for the guy to uncuff Max.

“He wasn't on the list of visitors and he decided to try and just walk in sir” they armed guard explained.

Steve rubbed his hands over his face, looking down at the young coroner with barely contained rage.

“You scared the fuck out of Danny and almost got yourself shot in the process Max” he told him quietly, shaking his head in apology to the guard he led Max in to Danny's room.

“Hello Detective how are you progressing in your recovery?, I would have been here sooner but we have been short staffed at the morgue this week” he explained in his strangely robotic voice.

“I'm doing good Max, I should be able to go stay at McGarrett's place tomorrow, I am not going to be sad to see the back of this room I can tell you” he smiled, he always liked Max, even if he was just on that side of odd – and plain annoying at times.

“So you two are finally co-habiting? I wonder who will win the pool that has been building since you both met” He laughed, pausing when Steve and Danny looked at him quizzically.

“You did not know? Ah” he stopped and looked around the room.

“Max? What pool? And what do you mean?” Steve asked, frowning at Danny who made a 'I have no clue' face.

“Well as you know there has been much discussions on you're 'married' status within the department and outside I hasten to add, it has been felt by many that it was only a matter of time before you two moved in together...I thought you were aware” 

“Yeah we heard the jokes, but a pool?” Steve laughed, Danny had wide eyes and a slightly shocked smile.

“Steve is straight, a super SEAL, all DADT remember? I have an ex-wife and a daughter – where the hell did that idea come from of us getting married?” Danny asked incredulously.

Max looked from one to the other and shook his head.

“Anyone that has ever met you has basically thought the same thing. You are a unique pair of individuals, you are both strong Alpha males, one should be more dominate than the other – but for some reason, even I cannot fathom, you seem to be stronger when you are together. It is illogical but a fact.” He explained.

Steve sat heavily on the side of Danny's bed and looked at him, smiling at Max's hypothesis, Danny looked clueless but laughed.

“Stronger when we're together huh? I think I like that idea.”

“As you should, I am sure just the mere thought of going up against you both has made many criminals think twice, unfortunately not the ones who grabbed Detective Williams, but I think they must be new to the islands.” Max stated, checking his watch he bid them both farewell, he had a pressing engagement with Sabrina – a Star trek Marathon at her place.

Danny and Steve sat in stunned silence for awhile, not sure of what to say to the other after Max's confession – Steve went out and grabbed them some dinner from the hospital canteen.

They ate in subdued silence, barely speaking, both seemingly lost in their thoughts – Danny was looking tired early that night, the headache and visitors had worn him down, as he settled himself back on the pillows to sleep he looked over at Steve.

He was lying on his side, watching his every move, ready to help if he needed it.

“Ah Max is kinda funny huh?” he tried, his voice sounded tight even to him.

“Not so funny really when you think of it.” Steve replied, suddenly his eyes locked on Danny's and he moved his head a fraction closer, his voice very soft.

“And who told you I was a straight super SEAL huh?” with that he closed his eyes, linking his hand with Danny's, leaving Danny with some very mixed up thoughts before he finally dropped off to sleep.

 

 


	11. Showers and going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve learns how to give Danny a shower and they finally go 'home'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I still suck at summaries - Thanks to everyone who commenting and giving kudos on this story, I am loving every word of writing this - forgotten how much fun it was to get feedback too! lol

Danny's nightmares were getting worse, he awoke at 4am, shaking and sweating, his hands pressed to his mouth to stop the screams he felt forming – looking over at Steve he was thankful he was still asleep, he didn't want to explain everything that had happened, didn't want him know what had been done and said to him, sitting up slowly in the bed he winced as pain sliced through him, his breath coming out in a hiss.

Steve grumbled in his sleep and shifted, Danny sobbed silently – wishing he could tell him, wishing he would understand but he knew he wouldn't – he was Super Steve, Navy Commander, all around good guy and damn super hero to everyone he met, bullets seemed to bounce off of him and invariably they seemed to find Danny.

“ _Yeah he is never going to understand any of it. I don't understand it and I lived through it...just about. I was so fucking scared, so confused I would and did anything they asked me to , Steve would have fought them every inch of the way, he would have found a way to get away and save everyone...although there was only me to save because I am that stupid and gullible that I believed them.”_

Danny tried to move away from Steve's hand on the bed, it seemed like it was looking for him, he reached over and patted his it dispassionately, at that moment Steve woke up, sitting up straight in the bed and peering around at Danny in the half light – Danny sunk back in to the shadows, praying he wouldn't look to closely at his tear streaked face, at his too pale skin, at his sweat streaked skin.

“You okay babe? Bad dream?” Steve's voice was rough and low.

“I'm okay go back to sleep its still early yet.” he told him, praying his voice sounded calm – he continued to do deep breathing, trying to get the pictures out of his head that had crammed in whilst he slept.

“No you're awake so I am, speak to me Danno please” Steve's voice was pleading and Danny hated hearing that.

“I'm okay, please just leave it” he sighed as he watched Steve shake his head and felt his temper snap.

“Okay what do you want to know, ask and I will tell you every gory detail...is that what you want? You wanna hear what they did? Want to know how it felt? How I felt thinking my daughter was being raped? IS THAT IT?” his voice rose with every word until he was screaming at him, his sobs coming quick and hard, his ribs aching with each breath.

Steve didn't move, didn't reach out to him ...nothing ...he just sat and looked at him, a frown on his brow, worry in his eyes.

“I just want to help” he told him simply,slowly trying to reach out to take his hand.

“You can help me by stop being so fucking handsy – I don't want you touching me, grabbing at me, I'm going to be okay – I have to be – so just drop it okay?” Danny levelled his voice out, concentrated on his breathing and laid back down on the bed, tears falling silently as he wished he was far away from everyone.

He knew at that moment if he had his car near by he would have taken off the first moment he could have – he just wanted to be alone and to think and sort through the shit in his head without people hanging over him at every turn.

“I'm sorry I didn't realise me touching you was upsetting you, I always did that I didn't think...” Steve stumbled.

“Yeah well you rarely ever think, I don't want anyone touching me again – just ...just leave me alone Steve please.” he snapped out, he saw Steve rear back in his bed as if he had slapped him- he hated making him feel like that but he couldn't continue letting everyone think he was okay. He doubted he would ever be okay again.

“Look I have agreed to stay at you're place and I am so grateful that you have arranged for Grace and my parents to stay, but I need to work out what happened to me on my own, I am probably going to have to see the resident shrink at work, trauma counselling or some such shit, I am going to be expected to speak to them about it – I can't handle you knowing okay? I only think about what happened when I am asleep, and we both know I can't take the sleeping pills to block them out so I am going to have to get through them, I can't do that if every time I open my eyes your waiting there to know every detail...details I want to forget” he explained as gently as he could, he knew he was screwing things up, knew he never let people in, that is what pushed him and Rachel apart...some of it anyway.

Steve nodded in agreement – laying on his side he looked over at Danny, his eyes looked so sad and worried that it hurt Danny to even look at him.

“I understand...You know that tomorrow before you come home I am going to have to learn to help you shower, are you going to be okay with that? I will keep my hands to myself” Steve all but whispered, his eyes on Danny's, his hands twisting the bed sheet in worry.

“Yeah that's going to be so much fun huh? I will be okay, I just want to get back to normal as soon as I can” he told him softly, laying back on the bed and looking at the ceiling, anywhere but at Steve – he looked so strong and safe that Danny wanted nothing more than to hide against him and let him beat the monsters away but he had learnt a long time ago that no one did that for Daniel Williams, he did things by himself and he had to now.

Steve closed his eyes and pretended to sleep while Danny waited for the day to begin, he was scared of sleeping and scared of facing those he loved – he had been safer in his coma he figured with a weary smile.

 

At 6am the hospital seemed to wake up, the nurses bustling in with breakfast, telling the both that Marion, the nurse from the day before would be in to speak to them soon about teaching Steve how to help Danny in the shower, both men looked at the nurse and simply nodded – neither wanted to look at the other for fear of annoying or worrying them.

Marion wandered in right on time, giving them both a brief talk on how to keep Danny's cast dry with a special plastic sleeve that she showed Steve how to put on, she then led them to the bathroom and set about the process of undressing Danny with the least amount of pain.

Talking Steve through the motions he tried not to look Danny in the eye, tried to keep his hands from brushing at his tender skin to much – Danny had already sucked in a breath as Steve grazed his hand over his side as he helped him slip the t-shirt off.

“Sorry” he whispered, his eyes darting to Danny's, he saw tears and instantly tried to step back.

Danny closed his hand over his wrist, unable to tell him that the noise had not been from pain but from recognising his own feelings, the tears were there because he knew he could never have what he had wanted for so long, never have Steve.

“I'm okay” he told him softly, Marion looked at the two men and her heart ached for them, it seemed these two may have been destined for a lot more than friendship but a thoughtless and callous attack had taken that possibility away.

After peeling the rest of his clothes away Danny stood in his boxer shorts, Marion looked at him and smiled.

“Keep those on, no need to make your friend feel shy is there” she joked lightly, Danny could have kissed her in gratitude.

Steve did as he was told and set the water temperature just right, he held out his arm for support so Danny could step up in to the shower and cringed as he saw his back, the bruising was fading slowly but he could clearly see a knee shaped bruise over Danny's ribs – no wonder he was so badly damaged, it looked like he had been kicked around like a football.

He felt Marion's hand on his wrist, the pity in her eyes for Steve, he dashed the tears away and she patted his hand, she didn't say a word but he could see the anger when she looked at Danny's injuries.

Washing Danny's back and legs, Steve thought abut how many times he had thought of Danny in his shower – with him – touching him in return and shook the thoughts away. Danny had made it painfully clear last night that was never going to happen, not now not ever in the future. After washing him all over, the front was hardest because Danny was looking at him with such sad eyes that Steve wanted to bolt from the room for having to put him through this.

“Now when you wash his hair you have to be careful with how far he tips his head back, his neck abrasions are still pretty fresh so he needs to be careful” Marion explained.

Steve nodded, noticing how Danny had closed his eyes, tilted his head a little way back and was biting his lip – his teeth worrying the tender skin.

Pouring Danny's shampoo in to his hand he gently began to massage his scalp, his gut clenching as Danny made an incoherent noise, his hair was like spun silk against his fingers, so soft like a babies, after what seemed like a lifetime he rinsed his hair and wrapped him in a towel, rubbing another towel lightly over his hair to get the worst of the water out.

Once they were back in the hospital room Steve helped him dress, taking the soggy boxers off while the towel was in place, leaving Danny to dry his personal area's as Marion called them, causing both men to smile lightly at each other – their eyes meeting for a second before Danny looked away.

Stepping in to clean and dry clothes boxers and shorts, Marion instructing Steve how to pull a t-shirt on carefully over his head and injured arm.

“I'll probably only wear a t-shirt around Grace” he told them both quietly “I don't want her to be too scared of all this mess” he explained, indicating to the bruising and scrape marks.

“Those bruises will fade soon sweetie, you mark my words” Marion told him, after complementing Steve on a job well done she left the room and the tension behind her.

Leaving the two men alone to pack up Danny's belongings, he signed the papers he had to and agreed to do as the doctor stated, after he and Steve had been given a long list of medication and when and how he should take them it was time for him them to leave, a wheelchair was brought in by Kate and she shook her head as Danny groused about using it.

“Hospital policy Mr Williams I am afraid, but I will conceded and let your friend drive it if you like?” she asked.

“Oh please don't – you haven't seen how he handles my car have you? I will end up with broken bones or shot before we make it too the entrance” Danny quipped.

Steve glowered at him but had to nod in agreement “Probably best if you do it, he never does trust my superior driving.

“Superior my ass” Danny laughed as the nurse chuckled at their arguing. Once outside Steve ran off to get the Camero that Chin had traded out with the truck the night before and drove calmly back to the entrance, jumping from the car so he could open the door for Danny.

“Thank you kind sir” 

Kate shook her head and wished them both well, reminding Steve to drive carefully and not to forget to collect the medications Danny needed.

Danny and Steve thanked the nurse, promising to do as she said and finally once the bags were stowed they were off – the silence in the car was stifling, Danny was looking out the side window like it was the first time he had seem Hawaii – Steve was doing his best to keep at least 5 mph under the speed limit at all times, spotting a pharmacy he pulled over and left Danny in the car, looking back worriedly as he climbed out.

“I'll be fine for ten minutes Steven” he huffed, laying his head back on the headrest as Steve sprinted in to the store.

A couple of minutes later Steve was back, Danny frowned at him.

“Sorry I was gone so long”

“You just left” Danny told him sharply.

“No I was almost 20 minuets you must have fallen asleep, you okay? Not spiking a fever or anything...” moving to put a hand on his brow Steve suddenly pulled his hand back before it made contact, acting like it had been burned almost – cursing under his breath.

“Sorry, I'm sorry I shouldn't have ...” 

“It's okay, but I don't have a fever I'm just tired okay?” Danny's voice was soft and full shame for making Steve feel that way – they had always been very tactile couple and now Danny was demanding Steve change that part of himself, he wasn't scared of Steve touching him, he was only scared of his own reaction to it – he knew nothing would ever come of it now so why make things worse he had reasoned the night before and now he had made his best friend feel uncomfortable to be around him.

“ _Great going Williams, he needs something else to be revolted about, can't have him thinking you would want him like that – he would hate you forever”_ his brain spat at him, Danny closed his eyes and laid back in the seat.

“I just want to sleep.” he told him softly, sighing as the car pulled away and they carried on the rest of the journey in silence.

Once they were at the house and Steve had helped him from the car, Danny gritted his teeth as he took the slow steps to Steve's house.

“You want to go up to your room or lay out on the beach to nap babe”?

“My room please, everywhere is aching, I could use a couple of pain pills too if you don't mind” 

“Of course I don't mind, come on lets get you upstairs, er um you okay to lean against me?”

Danny nodded, awkwardly wrapping arm around Steve's narrow waist and leaning in to his strength as Steve manoeuvred them up the stairs, Danny bit his lip the whole way, feeling Steve pressed to his side, is hand gripping Danny's t-shirt.

“ _God he smells so good, no don't Danny don't think like that...just let him get back down stairs before you fall apart”_ His mind whispered.

Steve opened the door to his old room and Danny's mouth hung open in shock, it looked amazing, the bed so big and inviting, the picture of him and Steve and Grace next to his bed, a pile of books – the portable DVD player that Kono had lent him was next to that with a selection of DVD's.

“Thank you, I'm not going to have to show my face around here much am I huh?” he joked lightly, Steve's face went ashen and he shook his head vehemently.

“No, that's not the reason...I just wanted you to be comfortable and I thought you might like to have some space...I'm sorry I didn't mean...I want to spend time with you...”

Danny rubbed Steve's shoulder as he turned to him – and shook his head.

“I know, I was joking, I'm sorry I fucked everything up, that I keep making you feel bad and I never wanted that, I never wanted any of this you have to understand that Steve...I thought I was doing the right thing and I never do...do I ?” Danny's eyes filled with tears and he turned away, moving slowly to the bed and sitting down, toeing off his shoes he lifted his head to see Steve disappear from the doorway.

“ _Great, just keep pushing everyone away you are doing such a wonderful job of it”_ Danny covered his ears for a moment to try and block the snide voice from his head.

Moving slowly he pulled the covers back and was trying to pull the t-shirt over his head so he could lay down to sleep when Steve walked back in with a glass of water and a bottle of pills, he was reading the hospital instructions and pulled to a sharp stop when he saw Danny struggling with his shirt.

“What the hell are you doing? You know I am meant to help you do that...I know you're sick of me touching you but I have to help you okay?” he fumed.

“I thought you had fucking gone...I didn't realise... look could you just help me with this please” his voice was small and all he wanted to do was scream at the stupidity of the situation, he didn't want Steve to see him fall apart.

Without a word Steve moved and gently tugged the shirt off and over his head, turning his back he dropped in the laundry basket and turned back as Danny was sliding between the sheets, moving his discarded shoes he looked around for something else to do, finally deciding to unpack Danny's bag – nothing was said as he moved around the room, he could feel Danny's eyes on him, he didn't realise how sad and remorseful they looked – did see him wipe the many tears away.

“I'm going to have a little nap ah thanks for everything” he whispered, laying down and turning his head away from Steve.

“No thanks necessary, I'll wake you in four hours when your next pills are due and make us something to eat them okay?”

“Yeah okay, but only if you are having something yourself...” Danny's voice tailed off as he drifted in to an exhausted sleep and Steve stood watching him, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he wanted to climb in beside him and keep all the nightmares away but he knew that would only make things worse.

 


	12. Clippers and tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title kind of says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry - I am getting to hide now...but once you read the note at the end of the story you should all understand why I had to do it. *Hides in bunker awaiting angry comments eek!*

Danny woke up about three hours later, it took him a moment to gather his sense and realise where he was, he rolled on to his back and looked at the ceiling wishing he was anywhere but where he was.

He appreciated Steve's kindness and what he knew was a major guilt trip, sighing he scrubbed his hand over his eyes and sat up slowly – he didn't want to be a burden on Steve or anyone else, swinging his legs to the floor he tested their strength as he stood , the room dipped a little, his head hurt and he knew it was probably from lack of food and the heavy pain medication but he could make it to the damn bathroom without passing out he demanded of himself.

Walking slowly and using the furniture for balance he made it to the bathroom in one piece, sliding down on to the edge of the tub he looked at himself in the mirror and for a moment he barely recognised the haunted man staring back at him. Rubbing his hand over his head he blanched as the memories came crashing in.

“ _Look at all this pretty blonde hair, such a cute little haole we have here huh Boss?” - harsh fingers griping his scalp, forcing his head down, tugging on his hair over and over “I like my little sluts to be blonde, not so bright but they do know how to suck cock don't they” The bitter laugh as the man slapped Danny around the face, holding on to his hair as he pushed his face over his crotch again and_ again.

Danny shook the memories away, bile rising in his throat – looking up he caught sight of his clippers on the side of the sink. Steve must have bought them when he had packed up his stuff, lifting them he ran his finger over the blade edge and eyed his face carefully – he didn't want THAT memory in his head any more, in his sleep and medication addled brain he saw only one way of getting rid of it.

Steve walked up the stairs half an hour later, checking in to Danny's open door he was surprised to see the bed empty, his stomach clenched in fear and then he heard the buzz coming from the bathroom – he frowned and followed the noise, expecting to see Danny having a shave, and getting ready to tell him off about attempting it alone.

The door was partially open so Steve coughed to warn Danny of his presence and eased the door open a little more – what greeted him was something he never expected to see.

Danny sitting on the side of the tub, half of his head shaved to around an inch in length, tears pouring down his face as he tried to finish the other side but being unable to reach.

“Danny!”

Danny spun around and dropped the clippers with a clatter, shock and fear etched on his face – he looked at Steve and just started crying harder, the tears sliding down his face and dripping off his chin as he hung his head.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Steve asked, picking up the clippers and turning them off, gently sliding his hand under Danny's chin so he tilted his head to look at him.

“I just wanted it gone and I can't even do that...help me” he whispered, his voice so soft and sad that Steve felt his stomach clench in sympathy.

“Shh it's okay I'll help you” Steve crooned, lifting the clippers in shaking hands, he knew he had no choice but to finish what Danny had started, he had no idea why on earth he would have done such a thing but it was obviously something he felt he had to do.

Steve pressed the blade to Danny's head, heard Danny whisper a thank you as his beautiful blonde hair fell to the ground, slipping over Steve's fingers as he shaved it off – Steve didn't realise he was crying himself until he felt the tears hitting his chest – the room was strung with silence, the only sound the clippers and the muffled sobs of both men, Danny raised his eyes to meet Steve's in the mirror and was shocked at seeing the tears on Steve's face. He hadn't wanted to upset him, just needed that memory erased – didn't he understand that?

“ _Why would he you haven't told him a damn fucking thing have you, just bitched and moaned and made him feel like shit.”_ the traitorous voice whispered at him.

Finally it was done, Steve put the clippers down with shaking hands and brushed the hair from Danny's shoulders, helping him stand he walked him back to the bed and sat him down, kneeling at his feet as Danny hung his head.

“Baby why?” he whispered.

Soft blue eyes gazed at him and he shook his head, then it was as if all the fight went out of him at once and he laid his head on Steve's shoulder and began to sob – his breath heaving as he fought for control.

He felt Steve's hands hesitantly brushing his skin, worried he would scare him even more and he wanted to snarl at the injustice of it, he felt safe with Steve but had made him think he didn't out of some ill-placed ideas on what he could and couldn't tell him.

His breathing slowed and his sobs receded – moving back he looked in to Steve's eyes, saw the tears streaking his face, he had never felt so small and ashamed as he did at that moment.

“Why Babe?” he whispered again, running his hand over Danny's head, the soft sunny blonde strands gone, replaced with a short stubble of light mousey brown.

Danny knew he could not escape telling him this, he had no right keeping it to himself – he could see the sadness and confusion on Steve's face.

“I had to...I could still feel them Steve, tugging my hair, whispering how pretty their little blonde was, making me their fucking slut for their entertainment – all the time I was...I was...being forced to ...fuck...I was being forced to suck them off, I could hear you and Grace screaming...I thought they would stop hurting you both if I complied...so fucking stupid...stupid fucking haole” he spat, his face crumpling as he moved across the bed and curled in to a tight ball, sobs racking his frame as Steve said nothing.

He knew he had disgusted him, knew he should figure out how to get up and out and back to his apartment, but right at that moment he couldn't move, the guilt, shame and anger were too much for his mind and body to stand and he simply broke.

Steve stood in shock by the bed, he didn't know what to do, what to think – god how he wanted to run, run straight to those bastards and rip their fucking throats out for causing his Danny such pain.

Danny was having trouble catching his breath, the sobs and anguish pulled from his throat was overloading his senses he couldn't take any more, he knew Steve hadn't spoken or moved and he understood fully, probably trying to figure how the fuck to get him out of his house...out of his life...out of his fucking sight.

Danny scrambled to his feet blindly, stumbling as he stood, looking around the room wildly he saw his shoes and moved as if to get them, the floor dipped under his gaze, the room spun and he would have hit the floor hard if Steve hadn't woken from his own thoughts at that point and caught him.

“I'm going it's okay...gonna be out of your hair soon...hair? Huh I made a funny...sorry, sorry oh god so fucking sorry” Danny's voice was running quicker than ever and jumbling over each other.

Steve just held on and led him back to the bed, not caring at his protests just lying him down and crawling on to the bed with him, he wrapped Danny in his arms and wept, his body jerking with the sobs he had held back for so long – Danny tried to fight and pull away, his own revulsion the only thing he could understand. It took a few minuets for him to realise that Steve was holding on to him and weeping, Danny's brain couldn't handle it, couldn't handle knowing he had made Steve cry like this.

“Please Steve just let me go” he whispered, running his hand over his jaw, forcing him to look at him.

“I can't, I never wanted too, don't push me away Danny please” his voice was raw, his emotions so close to the surface it scared him.

Danny's sobs subsided slowly, Steve's the same as they lay wrapped around each other, not speaking just holding on tight, Steve kept looking at Danny's shorn head in wonder – he looked so much younger and tougher somehow, so much more how Danny looked in New Jersey he figured.

“Stupid thing to do I know” Danny whispered self consciously, rubbing his hand over his head and grimacing.

“No, nothing you do is stupid, always a good reason even when I don't always understand it” Steve looked in to his eyes as he continued and whispered.

“I understand why now”

Danny nodded and moved as if to sit up.

“Okay I will let you go if you promise me two things okay?” Steve told, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Danny frowned and nodded, seeing Steve smile made his stomach stop rolling so much...maybe just maybe things would be better if he was honest, even if just with himself.

“Okay number one – you can get up if you stop telling me you're going to leave, too many people left me already in my life and I am not ready for you to do it too” his eyes were clouded with tears again as he spoke.

Danny nodded in agreement, rubbing his hand up over his shoulder in apology.

“And two?” he whispered

“Two, come and help me make something to eat”?

Danny smiled and nodded, his stomach growling at the mere thought of food – Steve laughed and climbed from the bed, helping Danny to stand – they paused as they caught sight of themselves in the mirror.

“What the fuck am I going to tell everyone – oh its okay I had a breakdown and the hair had to go – right, not one of my better idea's.”

Steve stood behind him and placed his hands his shoulders, pulling him back a little in to the safety of his chest, leaning down he whispered in his ear.

“We tell them it is easier for you to manage while you have your broken arm because I am crap at hair styling” he grinned as Danny smiled and shook his head.

“Yeah anyone seen your hairstyles will agree on that” he laughed softy as Steve proceeded to help him down the stairs to the kitchen to fix a very late lunch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.authorcdavis.com/2012/08/05/movie-review-oceans-twelve/#jp-carousel-1838 
> 
> This pic is the reason for the whole story - i got to wondering what would ever make Danny shave his hair this short...and my twisted brain ended up with this fic. So now you know WHY i had to have him shave his hair, don't hate me too much!


	13. Cookies and Converstaions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch, Skype and some honest conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos - I think this story may have about 4 or 5 chapters left, personally I don't want it to end lol I am loving writing this so much.

Twenty minuets later they were sitting in Steve's kitchen eating healthy chicken salad, Danny had been grumbling the whole time about 'damn rabbit food' so Steve had relented and thrown him a pack of Oreo's, Danny smiled and suddenly frowned as Steve placed a large glass of milk in front of him and orders that the cookies were desert and ONLY if he ate all his lunch.

Grumbling good naturedly Danny did as he was told, explaining to Steve that he was only doing so because Grace was concerned for his cholesterol levels.

“Which are fine – fuck you very much” Danny laughed as Steve made yet another comment on his diet.

Steve sat back and looked him over carefully, Danny was 5'5 of solid muscle and the quickest wit he had ever known, and how he managed to keep in shape was a mystery to him.

Danny squirmed under the heavy look Steve was giving him, pulling his cookies apart and nibbling the edges – after what seemed like forever he sat up straight and looked Steve straight in the eye.

“Okay what gives? Why am I being looked at like a bug under a microscope.” he asked suddenly, his blue eyes sparking with fire, his body tense.

“How the hell do you do it?” Steve asked quietly.

“Do what? Eat cookies? Easy – pull apart, dunk , eat...what's so hard about that?” Danny demonstrated as if to a small child, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“No I mean have the eating habits of an 8 year old and a body like Mr Hard Body, I have never seen you do any kind of work out and yet you don't have an ounce of fat on you...I swim five miles a day, I run- up mountains! Do weights and even if I look at a candy bar I feel unhealthy.” 

Danny laid his head back on the chair and laughed, a proper full on Danny laugh, and Steve felt his heart spilt and his belly grow warm at the sound – he didn't realise how much he had missed that.

“Babe I live in a constant state of worry and concern for my well being...my mum always said I worried any weight off as a kid.” 

Steve grinned “So me driving like a crazy person,or hanging suspects from buildings is your version of a work out?” 

Danny nodded, laughing as he told him “Something like that I guess, but please do not think you have to continue to drive like a mad thing so I can keep my trim girlish figure.”

“Duly noted, How you feeling? Wanna chat with your mum on Skype or maybe go out and sit on the beach for a while? Movie? Your choice...your my guest” he added as Danny seemed ready to hand the choice back to him.

“I guess I better explain this to my mum, or some version of the truth at least” Danny replied softly, rubbing his hand over his head - he had not worn his hair so short since way before Grace was born and it was taking some getting used to.

“I kinda like it, you look younger.” Steve told him honestly as he went to fetch his laptop.

“Here or the couch?” 

“Couch, hurting and this chair is a bitch on my back” Danny told him as he stood slowly, his body aching as he made his way slowly to the couch in the den, dropping down on to it he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, only to snap them open again as Steve pushed the coffee table closer so he could put his feet on it.

“Ah thanks but too tired to even think of lifting them” he moaned, then laughed as Steve did it for him.

“Geez never counted you as being a Florence Nightingale”

Steve just smiled at him as he sat next to him and popped the laptop open, booting it up and signing in to Skype – Danny had to smile as he saw his screen saver was a picture of the himself, Grace and Steve at Christmas – Steve and Grace were both kissing Danny on either cheek and laughing while Steve held a sprig of mistletoe above them, for his part it was obvious that Danny was struggling not to laugh at their antics.

“Cute picture, I haven't seen that one before” 

Steve ducked his head and Danny swore his cheeks seemed a deeper shade of pink as he mumbled.

“Kono sent it too me a few months ago” 

“You have any more?” 

Steve nodded and opened a separate folder of pictures of the Christmas day they had arranged for Grace at Steve's place the previous year, everyone had been there, it had been a good few hours until Grace had to go home.

“These are great, I am not sure if I thanked you for doing that for Grace” Danny told his partner as they sat and laughed over the images flashing across the screen.

“I did that for you as much as for Grace, I knew you was missing your family, I knew it was hard for you to only have Grace for 6 hours...It was nice to have some laughter in this house again” 

Danny closed his hand over Steve's in silent thanks and understanding, he saw how Steve looked up at him confused and then back to their joined hands, he hung on to Danny's a little tighter moving his thumb in a circle over Danny's skin.

“I'm not scared of you, I am sorry I accused you of being handsy the other day...My brain is all fucked up  and I wanted to push everyone away because....shit this is harder than I thought...”

“Why? Just me here, tell me please”

“I don't want to contaminate anyone else's lives with what happened, I want to keep you and everyone away from me because I still feel them touching me at times...it's hard to explain.” his voice was low and gruff, his gaze was focused on their hands, he couldn't bear to look at Steve's face.

Steve took a deep breath and asked the question he had been burning to ask for weeks.

“Danny are we on the same page with what we are feeling?,I don't and won't push I just want to know D”

Danny forced himself to look up at his questioning eyes.

“I don't know, I think we were, now I am not sure if we are even in the same book” it hurt him to be so honest but Steve deserved that much.

“I'm a slow reader” he smiled as Danny flushed and shook his head – motioning to the laptop.

“Call my mum and stop being so fucking understanding or I am going to ask where the real Steve McGarrett is and when can I have him back”

Steve placed the laptop in Danny's lap and connected the call, getting up he wandered back to the kitchen for drinks – giving Danny and his mum some privacy.

“Oh baby boy what have you done now!” 

Steve could hear Peggy's voice clear across the house and winced.

“Wow _she is as loud as Danny, the apple did not fall far from the tree did it....Please please don't give him a hard time about his hair Peggy you have no idea what made him do that”_ Steve sent up the latter as a silent prayer as he walked back in carrying two soda's, sitting next to Danny he popped the tab and handed it to him.

“It's just easier mum, I am feeling a lot better though for being out of the hospital and I now have my own personal nurse at my beck and call” he quipped, hoping his voice was light and normal, Steve bumped his knee and Danny took that as a sign of encouragement.

“Hi Peggy, he is being very well behaved so far – even if his eating habits are a little hard to get used too.”

Steve smiled as Peggy began telling Danny off, telling him he needed to eat better, he leant back on the sofa and stretched his arm behind Danny like he always did – Danny leaned a little more in to the protection of his side as he smiled good naturedly at him mum.

“ _Well look at that...sitting as cosy as can be and not having the slightest idea they are doing it – Good for you Son that is a good man you have at your side right now, please realise that.”_ Peggy thought as the two men grouched and joked with each other, light touches and big smiles as they looked at each other.

The conversation rattled on for almost an hour taking in everything from all the good food Peggy was going to make 'her boys' as she now called them to all the wonderful things to see and do in Hawaii, and all the time Rachel was going to let Grace spend with her grandparents.

“I see my son is getting tired so I am going to let him go rest and I promise to call you guys tomorrow – mwah kisses to you both and Steve? Look after our boy okay?” Peggy told them as Danny's head began to droop on to Steve's shoulder.

Steve nodded and gave a quick salute causing Peggy to laugh as she signed off.

“She gone?” Danny asked groggily as he realised the screen had clicked to black.

“Yeah, told me to look after you and let you get some rest, off to bed Jersey ” he told him as he shut down the laptop and moved it to the other end of the couch.

“I don't wanna move, too tired” Danny slurred and snuggled against Steve's side.

Steve curled his arm around Danny's shoulder and rested his chin on the top of his head whispering.

“Babe you need your meds and some sleep, come on lets get you to bed.” Moving slightly he helped Danny to stand and half walked, half carried him up the stairs to his old room, sitting him on the edge of the bed he raced off to his own bathroom to grab Danny's pills – he was too worried to leave them in Danny's but hadn't mentioned that to him.

Walking back in with a glass of water he laughed softly as Danny was sleeping still perched on the edge of the bed.

“Shush Army boy, I am too tired to argue” Danny moaned, accepting the pills and water gratefully as Steve mumbled.

“Sailor boy and you damn well know it” 

Danny smiled and lay back on the bed, wincing as he struggled to get comfortable, Steve lent down to help him shift the pillows and was suddenly pinned by dazzling blue eyes, looking wide awake and alert.

“Don't go” Danny whispered, tugging on Steve's hand until he followed him down on the bed without the slightest resistance – kicking off his shoes and pulling his shirt over his head he lay back and pulled Danny in to his arms.

“I will be exactly where you need me to be...always... I promise that Danny” he told him honestly, their faces inches apart.

Knowing he had let Danny down once before would always gnaw at Steve's gut, thinking how he should have gone to look for him, how he got so wrapped up in being petty and pissed, that he left his friend alone with those sick minded bastards would always make him feel like he had let him down.

“I must be insane” Danny whispered as he moved forward and lightly brushed his lips over Steve's he felt him tense up then smile against him as he returned the chaste kiss.

Danny slid back a little to look him in the eyes, biting his lip as he took in Steve's face, his heavily lashed eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed, his lips so so tempting.

“I have wanted to kiss you for a really long time, but I am not sure if I am going to be able to ever do anything more...You need to understand that Steve, I don't want you thinking this could ever be more than what it is...I am sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am that I...we... didn't do this earlier.”

Danny told him softly, his eyes filling with tears as Steve lightly traced his fingers over his lips, along his jaw – mapping his face with his fingers as if he was going to disappear in to smoke.

“Babe whatever you can give me I will gladly take, just lying here next to you like this is more than I ever dared to dream about.”

“You deserve to know everything that happened and I promise I will tell you, not right now because I am so tired and so scared”

He saw the question in Steve's eyes and answered before he could say a word.

“I am scared of your reaction, I know you understand I had no choice but actually hearing and understanding what happened in that room is another thing...please tell me now if you do not want to ever know because I will do that, tell me now if you want to go back to your room and pretend this conversation never happened because I can do that for you too.

I don't want to lose my friendship with you ever and if that means you move on and find someone worthwhile and I just ...I ...I don't know I just move on too I guess and make my life as best as I can with Grace and I get to watch my best friend be happy with someone else than I really could not expect any more” Danny's voice was hitching as he spoke, he was trying his best to be honest and not fall apart but just thinking of Steve with someone besides him was breaking his heart and he hated himself for it.

Steve wiped the errant tears from his best friends cheeks and tilted Danny's sad face to look up at him, he could feel the tears clogging his throat as he realised how hard all of that must have been for Danny to voice.

“I have never met anyone more worthwhile of loving than you Daniel Williams, if all I get to do is hold you and kiss you for the next 50 years then so be it...I will still think I am the luckiest man alive. I have loved you...you goof...since the moment you punched me in the face..,yes I know I have issues...we can deal with them together okay?”

Danny gave him a sad smile and nodded in agreement, putting a finger to Steve's lips as he whispered.

“I will explain everything I promise, and I love you too but can you just please be kissing me now?” 

Steve kissed Danny's finger and gently moved it aside to softly angle his lips over Danny's, easing him back a little , nibbling at his lips as Danny sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around him, his kisses soft and gentle, Steve's hands never roaming further from Danny's waist – For his part Danny sighed in bliss, his lips parting a little to slide his tongue over Steve's lower lip, causing Steve to make a soft growl and chase Danny's tongue with his own. After many minutes Danny moved away, placing a kiss beside Steve's lips as he snuggled deeper in to his embrace.

“Tired now, don't leave okay?” he whispered.

“I am going to be right here.” Steve told him softly as they both drifted off to sleep.


	14. Night time conversations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night chat between our boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken me so long to update - but between my daughter starting a new school - of which i had only 1 weeks notice and my laptop suffering from a virus - things got backed up!

Over the next couple of days Steve worked hard at making Danny more comfortable around him, light bumps of arms as they sat on the couch, reaching around him to grab something from the sink – Danny would fight the urge to tense up and run and always at the moment when he thought he would have to ask Steve to move – Steve would step aside anyway.

Their relationship had forever changed and in to what Danny was not quite sure – they still slept in separate beds, although they stole kisses before they parted at Danny’s doorway for the night, the nightmares were still coming thick and fast, Steve would appear at his bedside every time he heard him so Danny was getting better at making sure he didn’t, biting back screams before they could rip from his throat, fighting the urge to sob as he sat huddled in the middle of the bed. He was determined that he was not going to be a victim forever, that he would get past what had happened, but at night when the shadows in his room threaten to attack his sense he wanted nothing more than to slip in to the abyss and disappear from the fear and pain.

His body was healing slowly; his arm was still encased in plaster, his limp becoming less pronounced as he fought to deal with the pain than to become too dependent on the meds the doctor had given him. At times Danny wanted to shout at Steve to stop hovering. To stop watching his every move and mood, he needed some distance between them to process everything that went on and he had no idea how to get it.

It was in the early hours of Friday morning that Danny finally got some breathing space, Steve was sound asleep and Danny took the opportunity to creep out of the back door and out on to the beach, he moved silently over the grass – sitting in one of the wooden chairs that overlooked the ocean. The waves were loud and soothing and he felt tension slipping from his body as he settled down to just BE – to just be Danny in a moment of peace and quiet.

He smiled lightly as he thought about how Grace was coming to stay later that day, and how his parents would be flying in on Monday – he needed to get his sleep patterns back under control, to get the nightmares to stop pulling him from sleep with tears on his face and whimpers on his lips – he was lost in the thoughts of the coming days, of how much he had to try and figure out his own head until the ones he loved most in the world would be there.

Dressed in jeans and a t shirt with no shoes or socks, the slight chill began to cool his skin as he rubbed idly at the knee of his jeans deep in thought, he didn’t hear the back door open or the footsteps crossing the garden, not until a slight sound made his eyes widen in alarm and he found himself spinning, his hand gripping his gun as he pulled himself from the chair and crouched, the gun aimed dead centre on Steve’s chest.

“DANNY!” Steve shouted as he froze mid step, he could see the terror painted on Danny’s face, his finger poised over the trigger.

It seemed to take a full minuet for Danny to recognise him, his eyes flashed with anger then shame as he lowered the gun and crumpled to the ground, incoherent words falling from his lips as he shook.

“Danny? Babe I am sorry I thought you heard me” Steve explained as he reached out to help Danny to stand, Danny pulled away from him and wrapped his arms around his bent knee’s his head dipped low as he shook.

“I can’t do this Steve, I can’t be here anymore – I have to go, I’m sorry I thought it was getting better but I just ...god I could have shot you...I didn’t even consider it was you behind me.” Danny’s voice was muffled and filled with pain as he spoke, he raised his head and looked at Steve crouched beside him.

“Please just let me go home” he whispered.

Steve shook his head, his mouth in a grim line, as he reached out and pulled Danny to his feet, the other man struggled against him and when they were standing he moved away from his grasp.

“I thought we had discussed this Daniel, that this was your home while you healed and for as long as you want after that! I didn’t mean to scare you but it’s my own stupid fault for just following you out here.”

“Steve this is not my home, nowhere on this godforsaken rock is home if I am honest but my apartment is the closest thing I have to it, I am moving back there tomorrow – I’m sorry” as he spoke he turned and began walking back in to the house, he paused as Steve’s hand grabbed his arm.

“What about Grace? She is meant to be coming here to stay with you for the night, what are you going to do about her? You can’t even look after yourself yet let alone look after a little girl. What about your parents too? I said I was sorry” his voice was bleak as he looked in Danny’s sad blue eyes.

“I could have killed you! I can’t have Grace around me if I am going to react like that at every noise that makes me jump, I’ll call Rachel in the morning and explain to her I am not well enough for Grace to come visit and as for my parents I will get them a hotel – I don’t really think I am going to be able to explain why their son keeps waking up screaming in the middle of the night anyway do you?”

“Stay with me, not just in the house but in my bed, you don’t have as many nightmares when I am close by and if you do then I can be there to wake you before anyone has to know” Steve explained quietly.

Danny took a step away and shook his head sadly, moving back towards the house, his knee aching from the way he spun on it and his arms felt like lead weights at his side with defeat.

“I’m not ready for that babe, I know our relationship is more fucked up than ever, but I explained before I don’t think I am going to be have a normal relationship with anyone, Steve I am so sorry this happened now – maybe I shouldn’t have kissed you or continued kissing you these last few days, it wasn’t fair of me to make you think this could go anywhere but down the pan”

By now they were back in the house and Danny slid his tired body in to the nearest kitchen chair, he wanted to be alone and to cry and scream and get his anger out at how fucking unfair this whole situation was.

“I wasn’t planning on jumping your bones babe, I was planning on being a friend – I am not going to lie and tell you I don’t love you because we both know that is a damn lie, I have never loved anyone like I love you and I can’t help that, your cute and stubborn and so sweet you make my teeth hurt” Steve laughed as Danny looked up at him and shook his head smiling slightly.

“Well I know I am all sex gody, I mean look at those bruises just so damn cute huh?” he smiled thinly as he raised his shirt to show his bruised and battered body.

 Steve crouched beside him, his eyes never leaving Danny’s as he stroked one long finger along his ribs, When he realised Danny hadn’t moved or punched him he moved his fingers higher, curling in to the golden hair covering Danny’s chest. Danny sucked in a breath and kept his eyes on Steve’s, he realised in an instant he wasn’t scared or repulsed he was waiting...waiting to see what Steve did next.

Steve took Danny’s silence as a good thing, he could see Danny was more curious then scared at the feel of his fingers on his skin, opening his hand he smoothed the shirt along Danny’s sides and up and over his head. His glorious shoulders and upper arms were enough to make Steve’s mouth water.

“I have never understood why you hide your beautiful body under those damn ugly shirts, this body should be admired hourly, all that muscle and sculpted waist, it’s a crime to keep it hidden from me you know?” Steve told him, his voice low and husky as he traced his fingers over the muscles on Danny’s torso.

Danny chuckled at his statement and shook his head wearily.

“Unlike some I prefer to keep my shirt on and as you may have noticed I am a blonde, very fair skin, which if I let this Hawaiian sun get to it too much is going to be frazzled within a day” his voice was pitched lower than usual, the quiet in the kitchen seemed to stretch as Steve looked at him for a few moments.

“Stay with me, sleep with me...please.” as he spoke he stood and took Danny’s hand, leading his from the room and up the stairs – he was afraid to break contact as they reached the landing but he paused outside Danny’s room, the air was still around them as Danny looked at his door – his eyes flicking to Steve’s as he shook his head silently, as Steve went to move them along the landing he felt Danny’s hand close over his own and he looked back – shocked to see tears forming in his eyes, he stopped and took his hand in his own, leaning down he whispered.

“Baby I am not going to do anything if you say no; I am not even going to touch you except for holding you while you sleep, but I can’t help that you’re more suited to being the little spoon” Steve grinned and tugged him over the threshold.

Danny nodded and walked in to Steve’s room, glad he didn’t shut the door behind them – a new fear he had picked up since the attack, it had made his claustrophobia even more pronounced than before.

Steve let go of his hand and stepped forward to unzip his jeans, Danny raised wide eyes to his and Steve shook his head slowly.

“You cannot sleep in jeans, and as much as I would want to make love to you – every step is your choice okay? If it takes forever Danny I am not going anywhere.” Steve explained as he tugged Danny’s jeans down and sat him on the edge of the bed to pull them over his bare feet.

Steve stayed crouched at Danny’s feet as he pulled his own shirt off his body, throwing it carelessly towards the laundry hamper, he held his breath as he felt Danny’s eyes on him, he could almost feel his touch as his eyes feasted on his skin, he watched dry mouthed as Danny’s hands clenched at the bed sheet beneath him, his fingers aching to reach out and touch but his mind so scared of the consequences if he did – his fingers won and with a shaking hand he stroked a hand over Steve’s bicep, feeling the strength, knowing how strong he was and how he would never use that against him.

Scared blue eyes lifted to Steve’s and they softened as he drifted his fingers over Steve’s chest slowly, smiled as Steve’s breath rushed out as Danny’s fingers grazed his nipples, making them hard as Steve held his hands at his sides, his nails biting in to the skin on his palms as he fought the urge to haul Danny close and kiss him.

Danny reluctantly pulled his hands from Steve’s skin and shifted back on the bed, lying down slowly he lay there as Steve crawled in to bed beside him, Danny waited as Steve tried to get comfortable then took pity on him as he shifted and wriggled around.

“Stop you goof, come here” Danny whispered, moving until Danny was wrapped in his arms, their lips inches apart as they trailed lazy fingertips over hot muscled skin, Danny bit his lip as Steve slid his hand over his back, he raised his eyes to Steve’s and closed the distance between them – until their lips were a breath from touching.

“I need to kiss you Steve; I can’t promise what else might happen”

“I’m not asking for promises Danny, just you.”

Danny shifted and kissed Steve lightly at first, his hunger growing as the kisses dipped deeper and darker, tongues twinning and moans being pulled from lust filled throats.

Steve pulled away to kiss along Danny’s neck and smiled against the blondes neck as he heard him whisper raggedly.

“I can just tell not one of my sensible, logical reasons are going to be worth a damn are they” he huffed, moaning as Steve nibbled his earlobe.

“Anything you want Danny, anything you need...just ask” he told him as he tugged Danny over his chest and let Danny control the kisses and touches.

“It’s going to be fun explaining to everyone why I am sleeping in your bed huh?” Danny chuckled, his voice breaking as Steve nipped at his lips.

“I will just tell them I couldn’t stay apart from you anymore, it’s the truth anyway”

Danny laid his forehead against Steve’s and sighed as he laughed.

“Oh my mum is going to love you so much”

“I seem to be irresistible to William’s huh?”

“Well I don’t think my dad is going to be chasing you honey but yeah it seems between myself, my daughter and my momma – your pretty special, damn your gonna be in trouble when you meet my sisters” he laughed as Steve suddenly spun them and Danny was looking up at him with surprised laughter filled eyes.

“I only want you, and as for Gracie? I loved her from the moment I met her and she knows she can twist me around her little finger”

Leaning down he kissed Danny slowly and deeply, Danny didn’t seem to care he had a very large man laying half across his chest; in fact he seemed to love it.


	15. Revelations and explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i suck at summaries - painful and angst filled with a sweet sorta end to this chapter - i hated writing this but i knew the truth had to come out one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - RL is chaos but i loves it lol

Danny slowly opened his eyes, his mind drifting back to the night before – his mind flashed through the images, the roar of the ocean, Steve’s shocked expression as he was faced with Danny clutching a gun, his tears and fear of wanting to leave...right up until Steve had laid over him and kissed him so deeply that his mind drifted to oblivion and his breath had caught in his throat.

He had been worried that Steve would try and push things further but he hadn’t, they had made out and touched and tasted until sleep had finally claimed them both – Danny pressed his fingers to his lips and felt how tender they were.

He rolled over and saw Steve was still sleeping, his animated face for once was still and peaceful, he shifted to his side in his sleep, Danny watched as Steve frowned and reached out blindly, his hand curved over Danny’s hip and he breathed out a sigh of relief as he moved closer, his hand moving over Danny’s thigh, reaching around until he slipped his hand under his boxers and Danny almost laughed out loud as Steve grinned in his sleep as he lightly kneaded Danny’s butt.

Not daring to move or even breath too deep Danny lay in place as sleeping Steve stroked and kneaded his flesh, his large hands covering his skin, Danny was surprised he hadn’t tried to move or wake Steve but this was too wonderful to move away from – he wanted Steve so much, not even his attack had lessened those feelings, his brain battled with itself that Steve could and really should do better than Danny.

A single daddy to a wonderfully smart little girl, a beat down cop who had been used in such filthy and pointless ways, he should leave Steve to find someone who deserved all that love and attention and such a blindingly beautiful heart and body ... but Danny was selfish and he knew he couldn’t do it, not yet anyway.

Danny moved closer to Steve, curling his arm over his waist as his leg slipped between Steve’s – he smiled sadly as Steve paused and seemed to realise that the man beside him wasn’t only in his dream – and that he needed to be treated with kid gloves, Danny felt tears threatening to slip down his face and Steve frowned and inched further away, his hand moving from under Danny’s boxer’s , sleeping Steve was fighting to put distance between them and give Danny space even in sleep and it cut Danny like a knife.

This man deserved so much more than Danny could offer and he knew that one day Steve would wake up and realise that himself and then Danny would have to walk away and rebuild his life all over again, just like he had done after Rachel had realised she deserved better and then Gabby had done the same.

_“Seems I am a pretty easy guy to leave, damn Rachel did it twice! Doesn’t seem to matter how much I love them they always leave and now Steve has so many more reasons to push me away”_

Danny choked back a sob and slid from the bed, closing himself in the bathroom to cry silently – he didn’t doubt for a moment that Steve loved him...right now. No right now Steve was telling the truth and he really did love Danny as much as he said he would but how long would that last when they couldn’t have sex.

Hell his last two relationships had failed and they had pretty impressive sex lives if Danny did say himself – but that wasn’t enough, Danny wasn’t enough and this time he knew it was going to hurt so much more and for so much longer and he wondered if he should just get up and go right now.

He stood in front of the bathroom mirror and watched tears flow over his face, he didn’t see what Steve saw in him anyway – a compact and heavily muscled body, a short, close cropped hair New Jersey cop who mouthed off at everyone and anyone and was always spoiling for an argument – because if they were arguing with him at least they had some kind of emotional attachment to him right?

Even if it was anger or hatred.

He had done exactly one thing right in his entire life and that was be a good Daddy to Grace, he loved that little girl more than life itself and would lay down his life for her in a nanosecond – but she was growing up and with that he knew she would be soon too busy for her “Danno” and he would be more alone than ever and that made his heart lurch in his chest at the thought.

Danny shook the maudlin thoughts away and washed his face, brushing his teeth he took a deep breath and stared at the man in the mirror.

“I can get through the next couple of weeks and if Steve isn’t sick of me by then ...we think again...oh god I hate this” Danny lowered his eyes from the mirror – sick at the sight of his pathetic face.

All he ever wanted was to be loved by someone who loved him as much as he loved them but so far that hadn’t happened, he knew deep down he was always the most invested in the relationship – trying to make the other person happy, not caring if he was happy himself – he had tried everything he could think of...With Rachel he had got in debt to buy her the kind of house and car she wanted, With Gabby he had sat back as she climbed higher and higher in her career and finally she had climbed so high she couldn’t even see him anymore – and now with Steve?

With Steve he had tried to keep his feelings to himself, the attack had changed that but Danny still wondered if part of the attraction Steve was feeling was based on pity, on his need to fix everyone, to save every person he met just because he could.

He was super SEAL Steve after all and Danny was a victim, battered, bruised and used and left literally dumped at Steve’s feet – what else could he do but jump in and save the day.

_“He loves you”_

His brain echo’s over and over but he wasn’t sure if that was going to be enough, maybe he needed to give him what he wanted and then maybe he would keep him for a while longer, he could do it couldn’t he? He could have sex with Steve; he could let Steve touch him as Steve obviously wanted too?

He felt bile rise in his throat as he thought about the things that had been forced on him in that room, how he had been held down and his jaw forced open so those men could use his mouth as they wanted to – at the hands probing and pushing in to his body – whispered words of hate and the screams of “Steve” and “Grace” filling his head as they made him perform for them to keep his loved ones safe – he had been so stupid to believe they were there, to think he was doing anything but being used for those sick bastards toy.

Taking a deep breath Danny turned and walked back in to the bedroom, Steve was still asleep and he stood by the side of the bed and looked down at his sleeping form, taking a deep breath he removed his boxer shorts and slid back in to bed beside him.

Sliding closer he tried not to think of what he was going to do, he wanted Steve to love him for more than just a little while. If he did this would he stay with Danny? Would he get tired of his bullshit and fear and make him leave? Would he wake up one day and look over and see a victim lying beside him and realise what a huge mistake he had made. Would he end up hating Danny for wasting his life on him?

He couldn’t let that happen, he felt panic rising in his chest but he fought it away and he trailed a shaking hand over Steve’s chest, last night it had been easier – Steve had made him feel relaxed but he knew he couldn’t expect that kind of treatment forever – Steve was a man of action, he was fierce and full of energy and Danny knew he would be the same as a lover – he would need and crave spontaneity – he would want force and speed in his lovemaking, there wouldn’t be time to calm fears and hold back and Danny knew he couldn’t make him live like that.

Steve stirred as he felt Danny’s clammy hands moving over him, he frowned as sleep was swept away replacing it with alertness and confusion – he blinked his eyes open and looked over at Danny – his first thought was muddled as Danny kissed at his neck and throat.

Danny kept his head ducked low so Steve couldn’t see his face, he didn’t want his expression to give his fear away, Steve’s skin tasted salty and Steve’s unique smell assaulted his senses, he tried to think back to before the attack – at the lust he had felt for Steve, at how many times he had watched Steve strip out of his shirt at any given moment, at his graceful and agile moves as he chased down a criminal.

“Danny?” Steve whispered his voice rough with sleep and confusion.

“Morning” Danny whispered against his sternum as he licked a wet path over his chest, he swallowed past fear, past self revulsion as he felt Steve stretch out and he froze, his brain freezing as he waited for the violence to start – his logical mind knew it wouldn’t ever happen but he was too far in to his growing panic attack to realise that. He just kept moving, kept kissing, his hands shaking as he moved them lower over the smooth hot skin under his chilled fingertips.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, he tried to move but Danny moved more over his body pinning him to the bed, Steve needed and wanted to see Danny’s face but he couldn’t and now he was getting worried – as much as he wanted this he knew something was wrong.

“I want to make love to you, I love you so much and I want to do this Steve” Danny whispered, his voice breaking as he moved steadily slower down his body – his mind was racing a hundred miles an hour, his body was shaking and he didn’t even realise it.

He was now within inches of Steve’s cock, he forced himself to look. Steve was hard but that was hardly any indication that it was because of Danny’s doing – morning wood and all that – Danny stroked a finger along his length and felt Steve still under his hands – he didn’t realise his skin was almost icy from fear, that the tremors moving through his body were more noticeable now – fear crawling at his brain as Steve laid a hand against his shoulder – he flinched sharply and it was at that that made Steve lean down and haul him back up the bed.

“No” the word tore from Danny as Steve laid him back on the bed and looked down in to his face.

“Jesus Danny you’re white as a sheet”

“No don’t, I want to do this I have to , just let me please Steve just let me” he babbled, words spilling over each other as he fought to move again, to get back to what his fear addled brain was screaming at him was the only way to keep Steve.

“Baby please just stop, look at me, hey Danny breathe baby come on – It’s okay, you don’t have to do this” Steve tried to rationalise with him.

“I do, I know I do and its okay, I don’t want to lose you too, I can’t lose you Steve and you are going to leave me at some point I know that I really do but I want to be with you for as long as I can, I know how to do that, I ...i know I can make you happy...i can do this...i can...i have to ...i ...i ” his words coming out as a rush as Steve sat up in the bed and ran a hand over his face.

 Danny moved as far as could from his side, he could see the anger bubbling beneath the surface and he knew he had said to much, he waited for the pain, for Steve to hit him or grab him and his panic rose even further as Steve said nothing, just kept looking at him with eyes that were laced with pity and anger.

“What the fuck do you mean? Danny? Breathe oh god DANNY!” Steve shouted as Danny suddenly started to fight for breath.

Danny’s eyes were wide and he was gasping, he tried to breathe he really did, his fear showed plainly on his face as he struggled to get sense of what was going on, he could see Steve’s lips moving but he couldn’t hear a word, there was a roaring in his ears as if he was caught in a huge wave – the world was slipping in to blackness and Danny followed it down gratefully.

Steve watched helplessly as Danny slid boneless on to the floor, he had passed out cold, thankfully his breathing started as he lay there, his hands were freezing and Steve jumped over the bed to lift him in his arms, moving as quickly as he could he laid him out and run to get a wet wash cloth from the bathroom.

Danny woke up a few minutes later, a cold compress being moved over his face, Steve’s hand running over his arm, his head resting on a pillow as he blinked back in to consciousness, he blinked a couple of times and looked up at Steve, he felt so small and so stupid that he closed his eyes tight and lay there not speaking.

“Danny? Baby please look at me...If you don’t look at me or speak to me I am calling an ambulance, that’s it give me the stink eye – I really do not care but you’re going to fucking talk to me”

“I’m sorry” Danny forced the words out and closed his eyes over the shame he was sure was showing on his face.

“What the hell were you thinking? What brought it on Danny?”

“Brought what on? I wanted to ...to ...have sex with you and I screwed it up, I screw everything up, oh god my head hurts.” He grimaced as the headache bounced around his skull.

“Babe you had a full blown panic attack, I never expected you to do anything to me or for me or whatever the hell it was you were planning on, you know that...i told you last night I would wait!”

“Yeah you will wait just long enough until you’re sick of waiting and then go looking for someone nice and normal who can give you want you want, what you deserve.”

“What the hell! When have I ever said that? Ever even fucking implied that!” Steve raged.

Folding the wash cloth and placing it over Danny’s forehead, he sat back on the bed and cradled his head in his hands – this was not what he had expected to wake up to this morning, he had expected to wake up with Danny in his arms and then go get ready for Grace’s visit later in the afternoon and that would be the extent of their drama for the day – not this – not waking up with Danny kissing his way over his body, he could feel the feel the fear coming off Danny in waves – he could tell something was majorly wrong with him, Danny’s hands were icy and his skin clammy.

Danny sat up and fought the urge to throw up as the world spun and his stomach rolled at the knowledge of what had happened.

Huge panic attack over just the thought of sucking Steve off had left him feeling more stupid and worthless than ever.

“You are going to realise it soon enough babe, they always do you see, and this time yeah maybe I have a better excuse – used as those sicko’s sex toy for a night has certainly given me enough reasons to be more ... I don’t know just more not worth it. I asked once if you wanted to know what happened and now I know I have to tell you, you have to know you have to realise that this...this is pretty much doomed from the outset babe. No please do not speak I want to say this, and then go get my daughter and pretend I am a normal person for a few hours.

They made me suck them off, one held me down, forced my jaw open, while the other ...well the other fucked my mouth, no other way of saying it I guess. Then they switched, all the time they kept talking and hitting and telling me the screams I could hear were you and Grace, told me that their friends were raping my baby and you too, that every time I didn’t comply that their guys could hear us and you both got worse treatment and like an idiot I believed them.... I keep hearing those screams all the time Steve they won’t get out of my head. Once they had both had their fun they threw me over the desk, led me around by my fucking tie like a dog, spread me open and god I don’t even want to know what they tried to push in to me. I must have blacked out a few times, I am pretty glad I did...so you see not sure what kind of boyfriend you are going to end up with when I can’t even attempt at...at giving you a blow job and end up having a panic attack and blacking out again. So there you go Steven, all the sordid details – minus the bullshit they kept whispering but you don’t need to hear that.” Danny sat back and looked at Steve, his face was ashen and his mind seemed to be a million miles away, he didn’t move, didn’t say a word and Danny sighed and got shakily to his feet.

 “Nothing to say huh? Yeah I kinda figured that would be the reaction, so let’s just get through these next couple of weeks and find me a nice little cave to hide in and I will be on my way okay?” Danny spoke softly and turned, he had made it as far as the bedroom door when Steve was suddenly in front of him, his eyes full of tears as he looked down in to Danny’s face.

He stroked a finger along the shorter man’s jaw and tipped his face up to look at him, he could see the confusion mirrored back at him.

“I love you ...I am so sorry what happened. I should have gone looking for you, I should have realised something was wrong but there is nothing I can do to fix that now but I can promise you that I am not going to suddenly wake up one day Danny and wish I wasn’t with you, that is not a possibility for me...if you want to leave me then I won’t stop you. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be there...but please stop this. It’s almost like you are trying to leave me before I can leave you – and I admit I am never going to understand what happened to you that night but I know I can help you through it and you are going to a counsellor...shush...we tell every victim of sexual abuse that they need to talk to someone who isn’t involved and you know that’s right, so even if after the next week or so you decide you do not want to be with me, you are going, also the whole time your parents are here you are staying in my bed. You don’t have the nightmares when you know I am close and don’t even try and argue with me on this one because you know I am right.”

Danny stared up at him, he was trying to process what Steve was telling him, he was giving him an out if he wanted it, he was giving him until after his parents visit and Danny knew in that time he could find somewhere else to stay.

He would call the counsellor today because he knew he could not function when he was on his own to cope, he didn’t want to be without Steve but he also did not want to make Steve have a miserable life with him.

Steve was watching him closely and Danny nodded in agreement, Steve wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close for a hard hug, Danny didn’t fight...he didn’t have the urge to run ...he wanted to memorise every moment they had like this so he had something to take with him when the day came they parted.

Steve moved down and kissed him lightly, sighing in happiness when Danny returned the kiss, breaking off after a few moments to tell Steve that he had to go and get changed so they could get ready for Grace’s visit. Steve nodded and stepped back, watching silently as the man he loved limped slowly back to the spare room to get changed.

Once Danny was out of sight he moved back to the bed and put his head in his hands, he had known that Danny getting over the attack was going to take time but he had not realised how much damage they had done to him, how vicious and brutal the sexual attacks had been. When he had woken to Danny touching him for a split second he had been elated until he realised that Danny was shaking in fear.

Steve moved slowly to the bathroom and stepped in to the hot shower, trying to erase the memories of the fear he had seen on Danny’s face, he had seemed scared of Steve, scared of him being hurt not only emotionally but psychically too – Steve would never hurt him but it seemed Danny didn’t believe in much of anything anymore – not even his own self worth.

Steve showered and dressed and walked slowly down the stairs, he could see Danny standing at the kitchen sink – wearing jeans and nothing else just standing there sipping on coffee and watching the ocean dance along the shoreline. Steve coughed gently to make his presence known.

Without turning Danny spoke quietly.

“I can’t put my shirt or socks on...sorry I am much fucking trouble but this cast should be off in a couple of weeks and then abnormality can resume”

Steve’s chest tightened at his words – he knew Danny thought he was a burden and nothing he could say would make him think any different.

“That’s okay, I like you shirtless...told you that last night babe”

Danny turned to look at him and nodded slightly, his face was still pale, making the bruises all the more pronounced on his skin.

“I made you some tea, want some?”

“Yeah thanks”

Steve moved to take the cup from the counter and ended up bumping hands with Danny’s, as they had both reached for the cup at the same time.

Danny pulled his hand away and turned back to the view in front of him – his tone was soft.

“Steve I need you to do me a favour when Grace is here, just treat me like you used to – not like I am made of glass or something, also could you lock the guns away in their case? Just until...until...please”

Steve’s throat hurt as he told him he would do anything he asked, he took a mouthful of tea and watched the tight lines of Danny back, as he looked now he could see the knee impressions, could imagine Danny being held down and beaten – he pushed the anger back as he stood.

“Do you need me to go grab you a shirt and socks babe?”

“No I brought them down, least I can do” he replied, moving past Steve as he went to collect his clothes from the sofa – pausing as he turned and saw Steve standing in front of him.

Wordlessly he took the shirt from Danny’s fingers and helped him shrug it on, smoothing it over his shoulders and turning the sleeves up as Danny always did, turning his attention to the buttons he started to close each one in turn, his knuckles were brushing over Danny’s skin as he moved higher and higher until he had only two buttons left undone.

“One more, I don’t want Grace seeing any more bruises than she has to”

Steve nodded in agreement as he closed the offending button, his fingers brushed at the hollow in Danny’s throat and his eyes lifted to Danny’s as he swallowed deeply at the movement.

“Can I still kiss you? I don’t want us to stop being whatever we were building towards Danny – I want you to tell your parents we’re in a relationship, hell I was kinda hoping you would have told Gracie today. I know we have a long road in front of us but I don’t know how I can convince you anymore that I want you – for always. I know you’re past relationships have been brutal on you but neither of them deserved an ounce of your time, and I know because of the attack things are going to be tougher but we were partners and friends long before I fell for your charms”

Steve smiled as Danny laughed softly, he nodded slowly – lifting his lips to Steve’s as he moved down to brush softly over his mouth.

A sudden knock on the door broke them apart and before Steve could move to the door Danny whispered “Slowly okay”

Steve nodded, throwing open the door and sweeping Grace inside, he waved at Rachel as she lifted her hand in greeting as she drove away.

“Danno! YOUR HAIR!”

Steve bit his lip as he realised Grace must be surprised to see her Daddy looking so different.

“Well I had to baby girl, easier to deal with and strangely much cooler”

Steve smiled over at them as Grace rubbed her hand over Danny’s cropped hair.

“Plus he doesn’t have to spend a fortune on that shit he used to put in it”

“STEVEN!”

“Oh bad Uncle Steve, you mustn’t swear! Shows a lack of vocabulary, right Danno?”

“That’s correct princess Grace”

Steve hung his head in mock shame; hiding his smile as the two William’s told him off.

“Well as penance Princess Gracie may I carry you to the beach and then assist in your sand castle construction?” Steve asked seriously, he saw Danny smile at his words and waited as Grace considered it.

“You may, but first can I put my bag in my room?”

“Sure, I will even carry them”

Danny and Grace followed Steve up the stairs and the two men waited at the door as Grace whooped in delight at her room – even going as far as bouncing on the bed a few times.

“Thank you Danno, Uncle Steve this is so pretty!” she cried as she rushed over to hug them both.

The men’s eyes met over her head and they smiled, Steve watched as the tension Danny was holding seemed to melt away at his daughters touch, bending Danny ghosted his lips over Grace’s hair.

“You are welcome now lets get down to the beach huh? I think I could use a little sun don’t you?”

“You need to rest and me and Uncle Steve can look after you, right Uncle Steve?”

“Right Gracie, so you change in to your bathing stuff and me and Danno will go find buckets and spades and shi... um I mean stuff” he cracked a smile as Grace rolled her eyes and Danny laughed.

 

Later out on the beach Danny smiled as he watched Steve and Grace’s bent heads over their pretty epic Sandcastle – it seemed Steve was explaining the best places for turrets for strategic combat, Danny watched as Grace threw her head back and laughed at something he said – Steve’s face lighting up as he watched her and then glanced over at Danny to see if had seen her reaction.

Danny nodded and smiled and felt his heart beat a little faster at the happiness he saw on Steve’s face, he had sat watching them for over an hour, the screams from the warehouse had tried to break through a few times and he had taken that as a sign to call the therapist that Steve had added in to his phones memory – his first appointment was set for 2 days time.

His parents would be here by then but he knew he had to get help and soon, not just because his relationship with Steve was hanging in the balance but more importantly for Danny his sanity was hanging there too.

Danny’s thoughts were dragged back to the here and now as Grace squealed, lifting his head he saw Steve jogging across the sand with Grace on his shoulders – he laughed along with them as Steve reached up and lifted Grace, spinning her upside down before he set her on the sand next to Danny.

“Wow pretty impressive castle you two have built” Danny told them as Grace sat on the edge of his chair.

“Uncle Steve is pretty good, told me all about why they have to have moats and stuff”

Steve nodded like an overgrown puppy, looking ridiculously happy and relaxed, Danny wished more than anything that he could be like this the whole time.

“Uncle Steve said he will make us lunch while I sit and chat with you and make sure you don’t try to help, that today is your relaxing day – okay Danno?”

Danny looked up at Steve and frowned.

“I can help make lunch babe, I am not a cripple!”

“No you aren’t but you do have a very pretty little girl visiting with you and I am going to make my super secret sandwiches for lunch! I can’t allow spies in the kitchen while I am doing that can I?” Steve replied as he wandered inside. 

Danny shook his head and lay back on the lounger, tugging Grace in to his lap for a hug as the lay and watched the ocean churning the shore.

“Are you feeling any better Daddy?” she asked quietly, her fingers grazing over his cast covered hand.

“I am going to be fine Monkey and I am getting better every day I promise”

“Uncle Steve said the same but I had to be sure you know. He cares about you a lot doesn’t he, I can tell by the way he watches you when you don’t know – he has done that for a long time but its even more now”

Danny’s eyes opened wide as she spoke, shocked and surprised just how observant his daughter had become.

“Are you considering becoming a detective Monkey? And yes I know Steve cares about me, I care about him a lot too”

“Like mummy cares about Step Stan?”

Danny’s eyes rose to the back door and he saw a silhouette on the other side of the screen door listening intently no doubt.

“No I don’t care about Steve Monkey...I love him, is that okay with you?”

Grace nodded and wrapped her arms around Danny’s neck, kissing him on the cheek as she whispered in his ear.

“I think Uncle Steve was listening” she giggled

Danny laughed and nodded in agreement, he called out “Babe come out here please”

“Oh um yes Danno?” Steve asked as he walked extra casually from the kitchen.

“You would make a terrible spy you know” Danny laughed as Grace launched herself at Steve for a hug, her arms wrapping around his neck as Steve felt his heart grow and fill up with even more love for this little piece of miracle that Danny helped created.

“Please keep him safe for me Uncle Steve.” Grace whispered, Steve looked at Danny with a stricken look on his face and his eyes filled with tears as he whispered back.

“I promise Grace I won’t let him get hurt again”

Danny frowned at Steve’s expression and noted that Steve wiped a tear away as he lowered Grace to the ground.

“Lunch is almost ready, I’ll be right back” he called as he dashed to the kitchen.

Danny frowned but thought nothing more of it as Grace started chatting a mile a minute about some new boy at school who was so annoying, during her rant Steve carried a huge tray of sandwiches, fruit, juices and a huge bag of chips out to the table and lunch became a very giggly and rowdy affair.

Danny looked at Steve and Grace as they ate and laughed and really hoped he could have many more of these kind of days, he knew he had to heal and he and Steve had many more conversations and his fears may come true one day but for now he just wanted to enjoy hearing the laughter instead of the screams that ripped him from dreams every night.


	16. Disney and Dilemma's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long this part had taken to put up, but i had to find a place to break the chapter as it was very heavy with angst.
> 
> Not so much in this part but in the next there is plenty.
> 
> For all those who are following, commenting and enjoying this story thank you so much for your patience i have not forgotten about it or given up on it , just a very hard subject to write for me.

That night after they had watched “Cars” and “Mulan” Grace had fallen asleep on the couch between them, the discarded pizza box lying on the coffee table and Danny and Steve talking in hushed whispers.

“Want me to carry her to bed babe?” Steve asked, very glad that Danny had insisted on a pyjama party before the pizza had arrived, knowing full well that Grace would not last out the entire evening.

“Yes please, she really loved those movies you bought her babe.”

Danny told him as he watched Steve lift Grace in to his arms and carried her easily up to bed.

Steve could feel his eyes on him as he took his daughter to her room, part of him knew that Danny was biding his time before he talked of leaving him again, he had seen the sad flashes in his eyes whenever he and Gracie thought he wasn't looking.

Laying her gently on the bed Steve pulled the covers up over her, looking down at her small form and realising how scared Danny must have felt at thinking his daughter was being brutalised by those bastards.

A floorboard behind him squeaked and alerted him to Danny's presence, turning he smiled at him over his shoulder – moving aside as Danny bent and kissed his daughter on the cheek, his hand slightly shaking as he stoked an errant strand of hair from her cheek.

Danny laced his fingers with Steve and led him from her room,not quite closing the door behind them as he led them both to Steve's bedroom.

“You feeling better now Grace is here?” Steve asked in a hushed tone as he left their own door open a little, slipping out of his cargo's he grabbed some fresh boxers and made his way to the bathroom.

“A little I guess, thanks for being so patient with her, two Disney movies is above and beyond I think” Danny smiled as he sat on the edge of the bed and watched Steve brush his teeth and change.

Smiling as they passed in the bathroom door Steve assured him that acting like a kid again was not much if a stretch for him, Danny chuckled and nodded in agreement, changing his own clothes carefully, sighing as he had to have help with his damn shirt yet again.

It was those moments that caused the memories to grab him by the throat and make his head swim, Steve kissed his brow and leant his head against his own, reminding him he was not alone in the recovery but Danny couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would be at some point.

As they slipped between the sheets Danny rolled to face him carefully, mindful of his clumsy cast.

“Steve we need to talk” he started but Steve shook his head.

“No, you keep pushing me away or trying to and I think you should know me well enough by now that I am a stubborn bastard Williams. I love you, get used to it. I know things are messed up right now but we can fix them if we want to.” he stated firmly.

Danny bristled at the words. “I cannot just be fixed Steven, I'm not a damn car who needs a tune up! I can't promise you anything and I don't see why we can't discuss this like adults.”

“Look your parents are flying in tomorrow, me you and Gracie are going to the airport to collect them, I understand you are worried probably terrified about seeing them because of what happened but the only person who can decide if they have to know is you babe, and this between us? I want this, I have wanted this and still will want this even if we never have sex! Do you understand me?” 

“You really think you can go the rest of your life without it Steve? How long will it be you are calling Catherine or one of your ex SEAL buddies for a visit huh? I don't want you to feel guilty about being normal!” Danny snapped and rolled over, away from Steve, tears biting at his eyes at the thought of Steve with anyone else.

“You are normal! Stubborn...yes. Snarky...yes. Argumentative as fuck?...yes! but also going through a trauma. I have been in traumatic situations and you think I am crazy so really babe between us I think we fit pretty well.”

Steve told him as he moved closer to Danny's back, his hand laying lightly over his waist as he felt Danny's fingers link with his as he whispered a thank you for his words. His reply was almost a whisper.

“I have an appointment for the shrink in a couple of days...maybe they can help...but promise me one thing if we are going to be together as a couple and you DO call a friend for sex, let me know...please...I would rather know than to have you think you have to cheat on me. It wouldn't be cheating though in my eyes as I understand...” but the words died in his throat as Steve moved him on to his back so he could see his face.

“There is never going to be anyone else for me but you...please understand that. I have loved you for so long Danny that this is not going to change how I feel.” 

Danny nodded dumbly and turned so he was cuddled around Steve's chest, he relished in the safety of his arms as he felt his self drift in to sleep...knowing that tomorrow he was going to have to face his parents and their many questions.

The next day was yet another hot sunny day in Hawaii as they all headed for the airport, Grace was bouncing in her seat hardly able to contain her excitement, Danny was looking anxiously out the window and then back at his watch as the minutes ticked down. He felt Steve's hand close over his in reassurance.

“Not long now” He told him softly, for once misreading his tremors as excitement when they were borderline hysteria at the prospect of seeing his parents face to face.

After parking and finally finding the right gate Danny felt like a lead weight was sitting in the pit of his stomach. He looked at Steve as he felt his panic levels rising, taking deep breaths when he suddenly felt Grace slip her hand in to his, she stood on tip toe to whisper.

“It's going to be okay Daddy, your Mummy and Daddy can help to make everything all better.” her voice was soft and so assured that Danny looked down at her and felt his heart rate calm slowly, he wished he could be young again and have such faith that all it took was his parents to stop all the hurts he had encountered. 

Stroking a hand over her hair he leaned close and kissed her cheek.

“I know Monkey, thank you for reminding me”

He caught Steve's frown and shook his head in response so he wouldn't worry – at that moment he glanced down towards the passengers disembarking the plane and he felt his heart stop as his eyes connected with his mothers, Steve moved quickly behind him as he sagged in relief at seeing her, not realising how much he needed too.

“Momma” he whispered brokenly as she dashed in to his arms and clung to him tightly.

“Oh baby boy, I have missed you so much.” She told him as her eyes flicked up to Steve's and noted the tears gathering there too, pulling him in to the hug she felt the stiffness of his posture lax as he held on tight.

Meanwhile Grace was squealing with delight as her Grandpa spun her around in circles. Setting the giggling girl back on the floor he looked at his son closely before pulling him in to a hard hug of his own.

“Don't worry son, we gotcha okay?” he told him softly, hugging Danny harder as he felt the sobs raking his body.

Releasing Danny in to his mothers arms Jimmy took Grace's hand and turned to Steve.

“Lets leave these to get reacquainted while we go find our bags huh son?” 

Steve nodded dumbly and wiped his eyes as he followed Jimmy Williams to baggage claim, a very happy Gracie holding each of their hands and swinging with happiness.

Peggy steered her son in to the nearest seat and fished a Kleenex from her pocket.

“Blow” she told him, as she had a hundreds times before. Danny did as he was told and leaned in to the comforting smell of his mother, he hadn't realised that seeing his parents would have such a fierce effect on him.

“I missed you baby boy, look at you. You feeling better? Steve has been keeping us updated but I can't tell you how worried I was...still am.” she told him softly.

Danny nodded “I'm feeling a lot better, the cast should be off in a couple of weeks and Steve has been great looking after me.” 

“He's a good man...not nearly as suicidal as you made him out to be” she chuckled as Danny grinned at her, his eyes still red and watery but looking more like her Danny's now.

“He is an amazing man for putting up with me I think” Danny laughed, his voice hitching as the tears threatened again.

“Well I think we need to get you boys home and fed a home cooked meal.” 

“I am never going to say no to your cooking Ma but you should get some rest after that flight.” at that moment his dad, Steve and Grace reappeared with their bags.

“Rest? We slept the whole damn way. The in-flight move was crap” 

“James! Young ears!” Peggy told him as Grace giggled.

“She is hanging around a sailor Peggy I am sure his language gets worse than that.

“Not around Gracie, they both tell me off” Steve explained smiling at the bickering couple, Danny rolled his eyes as Grace sat on his knee.

“They argue like you and Grandpa do” Grace told her Grandma.

“Oh they do huh?” Jimmy smiled and Danny ducked his head as he tickled Grace for spilling the beans.

“Come on I want to pick up some groceries on the way home and Grace can help me make lasagne for dinner I think” Peggy told the group as they moved towards the parking lot.

Once loaded up it was a short drive to the local store, as Danny went to climb out his mother huffed at him.

“You boys stay here, Jimmy and Grace with me.” She ordered, not bothering to look back to make sure they followed.

Once they were out of earshot Steve leaned across the centre console towards Danny and grinned.

“So that is where the bossiness comes from huh?” he asked.

Danny smiled and nodded, settling back as Steve kissed him lightly.

“I like them” Steve told him as he watched the rear view mirror for their return.

“Me too”  
“Funny guy” Steve laughed, his heart lifting a little as Danny wrapped their fingers together, he rarely instigated contact and when he did Steve's skin heated in an instant.

“I am going to try and explain to them some of what happened...I think they deserve to know the truth. Don't you?” Danny asked, turning to look at Steve.

Steve was shocked at his sudden decision but knew after meeting them that Peggy and Jimmy would not have secrets from their children and had raised them the same way.

“Do you want me to be there when you do or would you rather I went out for a while?” 

“if you don't mind would you stay with me? Unless you want to go...”

he didn't get any further as Steve leaned in and kissed him softly.

“I don't ever want to leave you, we will tell them together okay.” 

Danny nodded his thanks and lay back in the passenger seat waiting for his mothers return.

“When Grace goes home tomorrow evening and after I have had my first session with the shrink...I'll tell them then.”

Twenty minuets later Peggy,Jimmy and Grace climbed back in the car. Danny was still sleeping deeply in the seat, his pain meds were strong and the doctor told him the more sleep he got the faster he would heal.

Once they pulled up outside Steve's home and the hauling of bags and groceries commenced Danny was feeling tired again so Jimmy and Peggy made him lay down for a couple of hours.

Steve felt there was something else behind their insistence but he said nothing as his mother tugged Danny good naturedly up the stairs towards his room...Steve's room he realised with a sudden start.

“Grace would you mind watching some TV up in your room while I chat with Steve and get acquainted honey?” Peggy asked her granddaughter, Grace gave Steve a worried little frown but did as she was asked.

With cups of tea poured Steve, Peggy and Jimmy sat around the kitchen table.

“So alone at last” Peggy smiled at him over her teacup.

“Is this the part where I should worry?” Steve asked slowly as he watched Jimmy stir his tea.

“No we just wanted to get to know you a little better, without Danny or Grace.” Jimmy told him.

“Why without them?”

“Because they are your biggest fans I am betting” Peggy smiled and then laughed as Steve's cheeks flushed pink and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

“So you and my son huh? I am not surprised in the least...but you keep him safe and if I ever hear you treated him bad like that...woman did we will be back here like a rocket.” Peggy told him sternly.

“I love him...he knows that and so does Gracie...and I promise no one will ever touch him again” his voice took on an ominous edge and Peggy and Jimmy exchanged glances at his tone.

“I can well believe that son, I do think what happened to Danny was no way your fault … we want you to know that we don't blame anyone but the people involved. He is having a tough time though isn't he?” Jimmy asked, linking his hand with Peggy's as Steve wrapped his hand around his tea cup to stop it from shaking in anger.

“He is having a very tough time but he is going to start seeing a shrink and he has me, and his family of course. He will get through it...he has to he's my Danno” he told them, to his horror he felt his eyes fill with tears.

“Hey come on now, you have done so good by him Steven. No one thought to ask how you are coping though are they?. Maybe you should see the shrink too...don't look at me like that...it might help you understand Danny more.” Peggy reasoned as she stood and hugged Steve tight.

“I will go if Danny asks me too, it has to be his decision. I was so worried when we found him and then after...I never realised I could be that scared for anyone. He keeps pushing me away and I am so scared he is going to run...” The words died in his throat as he glanced up and saw Danny standing in the doorway watching them, his blue eyes filled with tears.

“Danny...”

Peggy and Jimmy spun round and saw him, he was sagged against the doorway and looked like all the fight had gone out of him, his eyes never leaving Steve's as he whispered brokenly.

“You told them?” 

Jumping from his seat, the chair crashing over as Steve ran to his side, shaking his head.

“No, I never said anything.. you know I would never...Danny sit down please.”

Blue eyes blinked up at him confusedly, he stumbled as Steve led his to a seat, crouching beside him, rubbing his icey hands between his own, Danny looked at his parents faces and searched them to see if they knew...if they were looking at him in revulsion and all he saw was concern.

“I think maybe i should explain some things to my parents now, Steve would you go watch a movie with Grace?”

Steve frowned at him but did as he was asked, as he walked past Peggy she hugged him briefly.

“We'll be right here with him”


	17. The truth will out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime telling the truth is the hardest thing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been such a long time between updates but I wanted this chapter to 'work' for want of a better word, I am thinking of either ending the story here or adding an epilogue ? Let me know what you think I should do.

Danny raised his head and forced himself to look at his parents, he needed to memorise the looks on their faces at that moment as he knew they would never see him the same after he had told them what had happened, and he couldn't blame them as he wasn't ever going to be the same as he was.

One night had changed everything for him, one night and one stupid rookie mistake had made him in to someone so much less than he ever thought he could be.

He knew Steve and he had been moving towards some sort of romantic relationship before and now it had kind of forced its way to the surface, he knew that they would not be in the relationship they had at that moment if he had not been attacked and...and ...raped.

He could barely say the word in his mind how the hell was he ever going to explain this to his parents, he watched the worry and fear settling in their eyes as they waited for him to speak, tension etched in to their body language.

“Danny?” his mother spoke softly, covering his hand with her own, her soft warm skin causing tears to pool in his eyes as he wondered if she would feel sickened the next time she hugged him? Would she hate him? Push him away?

He could feel his breathing begin to speed up and he forced himself to take deep breaths, to calm down enough to get words past his throat, he flicked his eyes to his dad's and he wished so much he didn't have to tell them, but they had brought their children up to be honest...sure Matt had failed on that part but Danny wasn't going to, he had to tell them what had happened.

“This isn't going to be easy to hear and I need you to do me one small favour and just let me explain before you say anything? First I want to apologise...no please listen mom I have to do this my way.” he explained as Clara went to speak. 

He watched as his father took her hand across the table and they all sat, hands linked, a family joined as one as he took a moment to find the words.

“I know you are worried about me but physically I am going to be fine, bones heal and I am well on my way to full strength again...but something else happened that isn't going to be so easy to fix...I am going to start seeing a shrink in a day or so but I needed you to know this now.”

His parents watched him and nodded at him to continue, he wished Steve was sitting beside him at that moment giving him the same kind of unspoken support that his parents were giving each other, but he knew he had to do this alone, he knew he could not rely on Steve being at his side forever, that was never going to be in Danny Williams destiny.

“When I was attacked...kidnapped...whatever the hell you want to call it ...I was taken to a warehouse ...beaten pretty badly by a couple of guys and then left alone with a couple more.  
While I was there I could hear a little girl and a man screaming in pain... that little girls voice was so full of terror I thought I was going to be sick. They told me it was Steve and Grace, they made me think it was really them you have to believe that.” his eyes franticly searched his fathers face, his mom sat crying silently as he spoke.

“They told me that were going...that they were ...that they were raping them, they made me think they were raping my baby girl and the man I loved...mom please let me finish” Danny told them as Clara made an anguished noise and went to speak, she nodded and wiped at her eyes , her hand clinging on to her son and husbands for dear life.

“They told me if I did as they instructed then it would stop...or they would put a bullet in them both...I have never been so scared in my entire life.  
I had no choice you see, you understand? I had to … If I didn't comply... they ...they raped me. I didn't fight them so I am not sure if it is even rape I just knew that I had to help my family...that I had to try and save them both I know I was stupid. I Know... I mean I knew...deep down that something wasn't right but I couldn't take the risk, I couldn't risk their lives and then while they were ...while they held me down and forced me to...i heard a gunshot and the little girl didn't scream any more...i thought they had killed my baby and I wanted to die too.  
I wanted them to beat me to death but I still didn't fight them as I thought Steve was still there and getting the same treatment as me...i didn't know he was safe at home... I didn't know I swear, I swear dad I didn't.” Danny couldn't speak any more, the air rushed from his lungs and he started to hyperventilate as the stress became too much, his Mom jumped to her feet and stood watching as he gasped for breath, suddenly snapping from the shock she dashed to his side.

“Danny breathe baby come on, its going to be okay...I understand... come on baby boy please.” she told him softly, stroking his face as she kept her eyes on his, he felt his breath begin to steady and he closed his eyes, concentrating on filling his lungs and wishing he never had to look his parents in the face again to see their disgust.

“That's it, Jimmy get him some water” he heard his mother say softly, he opened his eyes to see his fathers pale face placing a glass in front of him, his hand shaking as he placed it on the table.

“Dad?” he whispered hardly daring to meet his eyes.

“What happened to the people they were holding in the warehouse? If it wasn't Grace and Steve who was it?” his dad asked him quietly.

Danny knew they would ask that question and he closed his eyes as he spoke.

“There was no one there, it was a tape...a recording of some stuff they put together from horror movies or some shit. I was the only one they had there, I should have realised... I should have known I know but I was so scared and fucking useless...I'm sorry...god I am so sorry.” and with that he broke, his tears falling thick and fast as his parents tried to process what he had been telling them, they looked at each other as Clara wrapped her arms around Danny and let him cry the pain out, rocking him against her shoulder as she used to when he was a small boy.

Jimmy watched his son breaking apart in front of him and he didn't know what to do, his wife of so many years held him close and whispered nonsense as he sobbed and wept, looking at her face he felt tears gathering in his eyes, she was looking at him for some kind of answer and he had no idea what to do...so he did the only thing he could do and walked out the door on to the beach to think. To try and put his scattered thoughts in some sort of order.

Clara sat holding Danny for a long time, whispering that everything was going to be alight but he knew it wasn't, his dad had left, walked away in disgust and he didn't blame him for a moment. He had tried so hard to think of a way to tell them without making him hate him and he had failed...he had failed over and over for them.

His divorce, moving to Hawaii,Matt running away, loving Steve and being turned in to someone's meat puppet...what sort of man was he, what sort of man in his father's eyes was he.

He felt his chest tighten as he realised he had lost him, he had lost the love of his father because he was too stupid and too weak to do anything about it, to not fight back, to let those men do what the fuck they wanted him to do and all for nothing.

He hadn't realised he had been saying those words out loud as Steve had walked back in to the kitchen, his mother was trying to reassure him but he didn't even hear her, his brain was running a mile a minute and he was losing his grasp on reality, breaking apart as Steve knelt at his side.

Steve must think the same way he reasoned to himself, must know how damaged he was always going to be...what kind of future could they ever even try and have. He knew what he had to do...he knew that once Steve got over feeling responsible in some stupid way that he could leave and get away and then maybe Steve could have the life he deserved, the family he so desperately needed and wanted. Not with him he knew that, he had known that from the moment he had told Steve what had happened. 

Danny's words were falling over themselves as Steve tried to get through to him, he didn't realise that he was speaking ever fear and thought aloud, looking at Clara's tear streaked face he was at a loss of what to do. Rising quickly he ran a cloth under the cold tap and began to bathe Danny's face.

“Come on Babe, come back to us. Hey Danny? Danno? Hey Gracie wants a good night kiss form her Daddy. You are not going to make her wait all-night are you? Hey that's it buddy, look at me...That's it.” he spoke softly as he wiped Danny's face and neck over and over, watching as Danny seemed to become aware of his surroundings, the look of shame on his face as he realised everything he had said aloud.

“Steve? Oh god I'm sorry” he whimpered as Steve held him tight and kissed his cheek.

“We are going to get through this do you understand me? Come on drink some water and I will get your pain meds okay?” Steve told him as he rose and turned his back to get the pills from the cupboard, wiping at his eyes to dash away the tears that had been falling steadily since he had heard Danny's worst fears spilling from his lips.

Taking a deep breath he turned back to face Clara and Danny, handing him the pills he pressed the glass of water in to this hand, letting his fingers linger over Danny's for a moment, the blonde lifted his head and nodded at him, understanding the small gesture of support as he threw the pills in his mouth and swallowed some water to flush them down.

“Lets get you both settled somewhere a bit more comfortable while those pills kick in.” he told them as he led them both in to the living room and on to the couch, Clara wouldn't let Danny go, her hand in his like a small child the whole time, he watched as Danny huddled against his mothers side and closed his eyes in exhaustion, Clara kissed the top of his head as she had undoubtedly done a thousand times before, comforting her son in the only way she knew how, her arms around him to fight back the world.

Explaining to Clara that he was going to make some tea as Danny seemed to nod off in to a fitful sleep he walked in to the kitchen and straight out the back door to find Jimmy.

He was furious that Danny's father had just walked away as his son was laying his broken life in front of him, he saw Jimmy standing at the waters edge and from the rigid set of his shoulders he could tell he was barely keeping it together.

“Jimmy?”

“Is he okay? What a stupid fucking question of course he's not okay.” Jimmy snapped back, rubbing his hand over his eyes as the anger threatened to break though again.

“He will be okay with our support, it is going to take time but he is still your son.” Steve reminded him harshly, the words clipped and hard as Jimmy turned to look at him.

“Of course he is still my son! How fucking dare you even imply..” 

“I am implying nothing...you didn't hear everything Danny had to say...he thinks you hate him, thinks you are disgusted by him, that he has failed you in some way. Danny seems to think he has done nothing BUT fail you...with his divorce and having to move here and not saving Matt from himself, for being in love with me and for not fighting back when he was being gang raped!” growled in the older man's face, watching as the colour drained from his skin at his words.

“He thinks he has lost you...I hope he is wrong.”

Jimmy stood staring over the water, his thoughts turning over and over as he thought back over Steve's words.

“He could never lose me I am his father and as for everything else that's not true...Divorce's happen, and Rachel was a queen bitch while they were married so that was hardly a surprise, if he hadn't moved here to be with Grace I would have disowned him...Matt's screw ups are all on his own part, that boy was always sly and reckless...nothing like Danny. As for him being in love with you I don't care who he loves as long as he is loved in return and happy so don't try and lay that on me boy...the rape is not his fault and he will realise that...he had no choice and I know any one of us would have done the same had we been in the same situation.”

“Do you mean that Dad?” Danny asked quietly, both men turned at the same moment, neither had heard him crossing the sand to stand behind them.

Steve took a step towards him but he held a hand up and looked at his father.

“Do you mean that? “ he asked his father again, visibly sagging as his father nodded, stepping forward he wrapped his son in a fierce hug and whispered in his ear.

“I love all my kids but you have always held a special space in my heart son, my oldest boy. You have done nothing to be ashamed of...the animals that did this to you? They need to feel more than shame...but you? You was trying to save your family and I respect that. Rape is about power son...not sex...you know that. If you let them destroy you, your family, your relationship with Steve? Then they win and that is something that is never going to happen understand me?” 

Danny looked over at Steve and then back at his father, and nodded in agreement.

“I'll go see the shrink, I want to keep what I have...I was so scared I was going to lose everything.” Danny whispered as Steve stepped up close and took his shaking hand in his, Jimmy watched as the SEAL brushed his lips over his son's knuckles and gave a small smile as he had a sudden flash of the future.  
His son was going to get through this with the big guy at his side, he was sure of that and if there were falters and stumbles along the way then they would be there to pick them up and put them back on the right path. Its what families did...what this family did anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story for so long, it has been a very emotional story to write for various reasons.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who took the time to review or send kudos always most appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment if you liked or disliked - thank you!


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